Manifestation

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“Anong course ang kukunin mo?”

Whenever asked in high school, I proudly responded that I would take up law. It was the career choice that people instantly complimented me for.

Students like me are expected to follow the standards, the reasonable path. Be ambitious. Be future-ready. Be competent. In essence, dream high. The ambition is ultimately fueled by one motivation – be rich.

I used to entertain such thoughts. I used to imagine myself wearing a fancy suit as I appear in courts, earning huge fees. Above all, I wanted to continue the Pangas’ tradition when it comes to profession. I wanted to be called “Atty. Panga,” too.

Finally, I had my work immersion in 2020. I was assigned at the Regional Trial Court, branch 22, in Naga City. Wearing my semi-formal attire, I excitedly headed to City Hall. One of the employees, as well as a judge, recognized my surname and asked me if I am related to the two former judges whom they personally know, whose surname is the same as mine. They are, by the way, my grandfather and uncle. The feeling was validating, of course.

On the last day of our work immersion, however, I suddenly felt unhappy. It came from a vague place in me that I could not recognize. But it took me that moment to realize one thing: I’ve been dreaming of a career that would please my parents’ heart, but not really mine.

Yes, a career in law is a dream worth pursuing. But suddenly, I was asking myself if it still aligns with my passion, values and goals. In the long run, will law make me really happy?

Amid the uncertainty, I realized there is one profession that can ignite in me another purpose — teaching.

Now, whenever someone asks me what my dream job is, instead of a compliment, I receive a follow-up question: “Maliban diyan, ano pa ang plano mo?” Sure, it’s a practical question, and I am fully aware of the struggles teachers face — from being overworked to being underpaid, with some even working contractually.

But that question makes me feel as if I settled for less. Lest you may assume that I am settling for less, let me tell you this: in teaching, I can never know where and how my influence begins and ends.

Defining my direction, to pursue teaching, was the first step I took. It gave me a clear purpose, that is, to embrace my passion for learning and sharing. I discovered that I find it worthwhile to touch another person’s heart and mind, and to make the most of everything that I have to make a difference.

I want to teach my students what I know, including lessons I learned rather late. I want to help them hone their skills while awakening in them progressive values that even schools could not teach. Through empathy, I want them to feel heard and seen inside the classroom, especially since not all homes are safe spaces for them. I want to be a teacher whose values and skills may change the lives of many.

You see, there is still a part of me that is ambitious, possessing the expected desires of being future-ready and competent — only this time, the purpose is not to materially enrich myself.

Besides, there is so much to learn in teaching. Not only will my students learn from me, I will also learn from them. This is, therefore, a profession truly worth admiring, because people who want to be teachers derive their strength from their hearts.

Others may prefer to heed the urge to chase after lucrative careers. But for some, there is something deeper, a calling, something that needs to be heeded because the heeding itself is the reward.

At this point in my life, I no longer dream high. Now, I dream deep.

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Peter Dominique I. Panga, 21, is currently taking up Bachelor of Secondary Education, Major in English, at Ateneo de Naga University. He lives in Iriga City, Camarines Sur.

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