The story is told of a boy who was admiring a very expensive car. “It is a gift from my brother,” the owner of the car said. “Don’t you wish you had an expensive car like this?” The boy answered: “I wish I had a brother like yours.”
The story is told of a man who is so shy that when he steps into the elevator, he comes in quietly with his head bowed. The elevator operator asks him, “What floor, sir?” And he says, “Ah, fifth floor, please… if it’s not out of the way.”
The story is told of an elderly Jew who had been going to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem every single day, for 40 years, to pray. When a reporter asked him what he was praying for at the Wall, he replied: “For peace.” When the reporter asked him how he felt after doing this for 40 years, he replied: “I feel like I’m talking to a wall!”
The story is told of a farmer who approached a nurse at a hospital and asked her to treat the wound on his foot. The nurse arrogantly said: “How dare you ask me to do that! Don’t you know who I am? I am the head nurse of this hospital!” The farmer humbly replied: “Sorry, Ma’am. Can you refer me then to the foot nurse of this hospital?”
The story is told of a man who boasted about his stem cell procedure—which made use of a lamb—and how everything turned out well. He said that he feels stronger, and he even looks younger. Everything was fine, except that whenever he burped, the sound “meeeh” would come out from time to time!
The story is told of a reporter who asked a group of people at a political rally: “Were you forced to come here?” In chorus, they shouted: “No!” Then he asked them: “Were you transported here?” Again, they shouted: “No!” And finally, the reporter asked: “Were you paid to come here?” They forcefully shouted: “Not yet! Not yet!”
I received this text message saying that as men become older, they become more attractive, and women find them more irresistible. Wow! The same text message says, though, that as men become older, they become more gullible and prone to believing such text messages!
The story is told about a preacher who, wanting to console the grieving family, used the analogy of the peanut to explain the mystery of death and the life beyond. Pointing to the deceased, he ended up saying: “What we have here is just the shell. The nut is gone”—to the consternation and amusement of the congregation!
The story is told of a man who excitedly forwarded to his friend this text message: “We are invited to join the birthday party of Edong this Saturday. It will start at 8 a.m. No problem with entrance fee at the beach resort. No problem with food and drinks either. Eat and drink all you can! Whole day of fun and entertainment as well. The problem is I don’t know who this Edong is! Do you?”
The story is told of a wife who asked her husband about the three grains of rice and a P1,000 bill which she found in his drawer. Pressed for an answer, the husband admitted to her that the three grains of rice are a reminder to him of how many times he lied to her. “Wow. Only three times! How about the P1,000 bill?” the wife asked. “Oh, that,” he said. “That is from the sale of the sack of rice that I had already accumulated!”
The story is told about a little boy who sobbed all the way home in the back of the car after the christening of his baby brother in church. Three times his father asked him what was wrong. Finally the boy said: “The priest kept saying that he wanted us to be brought up in a Christian home.” “So, what’s the problem?” the father asked. “But I want to stay with you guys!” the boy cried.
The story is told that during the visit of John Paul II to the Philippines in 1995, a high government official shocked everyone when he was heard saying, “Anti Pope!” When asked for an explanation, he said he was one of those who had been waiting (antay) for the Pope, following him wherever he went, and waiting for the chance to be blessed by him. Antay nang antay kay Pope!
