When my officemate ‘unfriended’ me on Facebook

We were officemates. We had worked together for more than two years. Suddenly, I stopped seeing her posts on Facebook (FB). I got curious, so I searched her name on FB, and voila! Below her profile picture are these words: Add friend. It meant she “unfriended” me. Initially, I did not feel anything. I did not care if she removed me from her list of friends. I lost nothing. I am still alive despite it. Then it dawned on me. How could she unfriend me? What have I done? Admittedly, I got offended. I supported her businesses. I bought a lot of stuff from her. I even introduced her to a lawyer who specializes in land reform laws and policies when she had problems with her family’s landholdings. I worked with her very well. This is not to say that I expect her to owe me a debt of gratitude for patronizing her business and for helping her. I just felt betrayed.

When I stalked her FB account, I saw that we have several “mutual friends.” She and our other officemates (including the aforementioned lawyer) are still friends on FB. Why did she unfriend me? This question remained unanswered until now. Should I even look for an answer? As far as I am concerned, I did nothing wrong to her. I don’t know if it is possible for her to inadvertently unfriend me.

Recently, we coincidentally saw each other in a restaurant as I was rushing to leave. She engaged me in conversation. I took it as a sign that she is not avoiding me. We talked about our old jobs. We laughed about silly things. We also discussed our new jobs. I did not bother to ask her why she unfriended me. She did not explain herself either. Maybe she does not know that I know that she deleted my name as her FB friend. Or maybe she knows. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter anymore. We just pretended it never happened, and moved on with our own lives.

I eventually learned that she is married already. Presumably, her husband was the one who unfriended me. Maybe he wants to limit the number of his wife’s male friends.

In this digital age, one click is all that it takes to gain and lose friends. We should be careful in adding friends and accepting friend requests.

In real life, friendships are not established overnight. They are built on and founded by trust, honesty, and loyalty. It takes many years to gain one’s trust and confidence and prove one’s faithfulness.

Choosing a friend can be tricky sometimes. Even the word friend is being used casually today. What we see on FB or any other online platforms can deceive us. Having a thousand friends online is preposterous. Realistically, no one can maintain a huge number of friends unless he or she is a celebrity or a politician. Our expectations are not always our realities. Just because a follower “liked” or “loved” your post doesn’t mean he or she truly likes or loves it. The ones we consider and treat as our friends online are not our friends in the real sense of the word.

Social networking sites have been beneficial to those who are in long-distance relationships. Homesickness is alleviated because of these sites. Keeping in touch with our loved ones is made easy by video calls apps. Be that as it may, let us use these digital platforms sparingly.

While social media can bring us together, it may also draw us apart.

Leonard Kristian Mesa Gelacio,

leonardkristianmesagelacio@gmail.com