Give your best

The story is told about a husband who asked his wife for a copy of their marriage contract. Rather intrigued by his sudden interest, the wife asked him why. The husband replied: “I just wanted to check if there was something written about the expiry date in the fine print.”

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In today’s Gospel (Mark 10: 2-16), Jesus stresses the sanctity and indissolubility of marriage. “Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” The reason for this becomes clear when Jesus embraced the children, blessed them, and placed His hands upon them. It is the “little ones” that suffer most when marriages break up.

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Dissolution is not the solution. Divorce creates more problems and complications, leading to broken hearts, broken lives, and broken homes. There are difficult marriage situations, but instead of divorce, the road of separation or annulment can be taken. As far as possible, relationships should be worked out. The bottom-line question is: “Did I do my very best for the relationship to survive and work out?”

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Someone once said that the problem with some couples is they vow to love each other for better or for worse, but not for good. And someone also said that instead of spending time in court, couples should spend time courting each other again, instead of hurting each other forever.

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Try prayer. Prayer is the key to many marital and family problems. If we all listen to God, and not just to our own wills and desires, a lot of things will heal and fall into place. It is the presence of God that can help couples and families stick to each other. God is the superglue of hearts and homes.

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“The family that prays together, stays together” (Fr. Patrick Peyton). Prayer is the key to family and world peace. October is the month of the holy rosary, which can bind us together. Let’s give prayer a chance. Prayer works! Give it a try especially when all else seems to be falling and failing.

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It is so inspiring and edifying to see couples who persevere, and who remain sweet and loving, despite trials and failures in their married life. There are no perfect couples; there are only imperfect couples who never gave up on each other, aided by their desire to fulfill their vows which they made before God. Someone said it so well: “The most impressive evidence of maximum tolerance is a golden wedding anniversary!”

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As a priest, I have counseled so many couples. I have encountered difficult couples, but I have also been edified by the patience and goodwill of so many who hold on, grow up, and grow on. We must believe and keep on believing in happy endings.

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Let us learn from the pearl. A pearl is formed by a shell, two halves joined together that do not give up or break up when a painful, irritating grain of sand comes inside; instead, these two halves hold on together, with lots of patience and love, until after some time, the very same painful, irritating grain of sand enveloped with so much love, has become a precious pearl. Keep turning your troubles and trials into pearls.

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I take this opportunity to honor my parents, and couples who leave behind beautiful lasting memories to their children even long after they are gone. After my Sunday Mass last week, a man came up to me, and misty-eyed, shared how he was helped by Papa who was then the collector of Customs of the Port of Manila. He described how welcoming, accommodating, humble, and helpful Papa was to him, without any monetary considerations. So, heartwarming to hear up to now people who came and tell me: “Your Papa was a very good person.”

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On my birthday last Oct. 1, I saw a butterfly circle around me, the same color as the one that did so when Mama was buried; the same color of the butterfly that would linger on in the chapel when I was going through chemotherapy six years ago. For me, it was a reminder of Mama’s loving presence and simple constant love which I have felt since I was a child. I just want to say that the greatest gift that children receive from their parents is what they carry inside them, which this world cannot give or take away. Thank you to parents who love, and who continue to love, despite everything, until the very end.

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A moment with the Lord:

Lord, may we be able to say that we did our very best, until the very end. Amen.

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