Never too old

When he was young, my father aspired to be an escort at their town Santacruzan. In many Philippine provinces, Flores de Mayo is considered the “queen of festivals” and being part of the Marian-themed procession was the pinnacle status symbol. Papa shared that he had always wanted to join, but was too poor and too thin to be considered escort material.

At 69 years old, my father finally fulfilled his childhood dream. Around five years ago, our local parish started a new tradition: Instead of young people, the procession features senior citizens. So last Saturday, Papa happily walked for five blocks around the Church with his fellow senior sagalas — the oldest one being 75 years old.

For his Santacruzan debut, Papa had a new barong made, got a haircut, and had a manicure done. My mom said that she has not seen my father this giddy and excited in a long time, and really appreciates how their community in the parish enables them to try new things. A month ago, my mom, who usually shies away from public performances, danced to Miley Cyrus’ “Flowers” with her fellow Church ushers.

I look at my parents’ active social life and understand how lucky they are. Studies have shown that 50 percent of individuals aged over 60 are at risk of social isolation and one-third will experience some degree of loneliness later in life. And as countries worldwide experience rapid growth in the size and proportion of older people in the population, social disconnectedness among the elderly has also become a growing public health concern. Loneliness puts older adults at an increased risk for heart disease, stroke, dementia, and premature death—comparable to the risks posed by smoking and obesity.

Even in the Philippines where large families and intergenerational households help create a steady source of social support until old age, there are still senior citizens who feel socially excluded. A 2022 study found that the prevalence of loneliness among older adults in the country is modest among city dwellers, but significantly higher for those in rural places. Since most older adults live alone in the provinces (12.7 percent in rural versus 5.4 percent in urban), it is important to understand how we could encourage more social connection and promote overall well-being among senior citizens in these areas. This includes strengthening existing social infrastructure that will give older adults a chance to meet, engage, and connect with their peers. Republic Act No. 7876 mandated the establishment of senior citizen centers in all cities and municipalities. It is good to study how these venues could be maximized to really be effective in providing personal, health, and recreational services to older adults. In Japan, for example, a group started casino-themed adult daycare centers where seniors can “fake gamble” and compete for the honor of being called a Las Vegas champion. The elderly care facility has been so successful in attracting usually reclusive seniors, that it has now grown to 23 locations across Japan. While I do not necessarily think this should be replicated here, we should take inspiration from the creativity of their approach.

My parents’ experience in the parish highlights the effectiveness of community-based networks in creating a sense of belonging among the elderly. Apart from access to a larger social circle and more purposeful activities, the supportive network could also help them address practical challenges related to daily living: from sharing rides to get around to exchanging knowledge and resources on accessing essential services (e.g., best doctor to approach, tips on affordable dialysis centers, etc.). By creating more senior-focused interest groups and community events, we could help make aging a more enjoyable and celebrated chapter, rather than something to be feared.

Family members, of course, play a crucial role in helping older adults combat feelings of isolation. The more obvious prescriptions would be simple gestures that go a long way in making them feel valued: regular phone calls, visits, and time with their grandchildren. The bigger challenge, however, is for children to constantly show their aging parents large amounts of patience. Experts say that one of the scariest things about getting older is the idea of losing control and autonomy, making older adults quite stubborn when faced with changes or conversations that trigger this fear. Perhaps by viewing their situation with more empathy, children can navigate difficult interactions with less frustration, and more compassion.

A longer life brings with it new opportunities. As my parents are finding out, it could provide additional years to gain new skills and revisit childhood dreams. May we all be proactive in helping senior citizens lead full and enriched lives.

eleanor@shetalksasia.com