‘Répondez s’il vous plaît’

In many countries, when the president or chief executive invites you to his place for a formal sit-down dinner, it is considered a great honor and privilege rarely declined except for very serious reasons. This is even more so when the dinner is to honor a visiting head of state or government with whom we have the best of relations.

In the Philippines, these practices are not taken too seriously and so, very often, we end up with embarrassing situations that tend to paint a not-too-flattering picture of our social graces and attitudes. In a way, it is a reflection of the “bahala na” mentality that is pervasive in our way of thinking and our manner of doing things. Many years ago at a state dinner honoring a visiting prime minister who was accompanied by a large delegation of business leaders, there were so many empty seats at the Palace function that one had to wonder just how Malacañang manages such affairs. At our table, two-thirds of the places were vacant; so with the one next to ours. Suddenly just before the soup was served, all the seats became occupied by men and some women, all of whom looked distinctly like security-types complete with earplugs for communication purposes. I am certain it was not the first time our security and in-house personnel were called upon to provide an audience for the evening.

One may think that such arrangements merely cover up a bad situation. But the truth is they highlight our lack of social graces and manners. Don’t think that our foreign visitors are not aware of what is going on; they’re probably privately chuckling at the entire situation.

For many of us, responding to formal invitations, even those coming from a president, is not something that is normally done. Most of the time, we just show up or, even worse, at times, we show up with an uninvited companion. Oftentimes, the letters RSVP at the bottom of invitation cards do not mean a thing.

Just to refresh our memories, RSVP is the abbreviation of the French expression “Répondez s’il vous plaît,” meaning “Please reply” or “Please let me know if you can make it.” This request will allow the host to establish who will be able to attend the function, and if need be, to invite others in place of those who decline. The host may not get a 100-percent attendance but can certainly minimize awkward situations that may result from nonreplying invitees.

When I was in Indonesia, one of our diplomatic colleagues had two large stuffed bears in readiness. When there were no-shows at his sit-down dinners, he would position the bears at the empty seats and they were always a source of conversation and laughter. The name cards remained in front of the vacancies and everyone knew who the culprits were.

Formal state dinners are planned way ahead of the event. There is absolutely no valid reason why we cannot have a decent attendance at these functions to honor our guests.

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During the martial law years, part of the government effort to soften its authoritarian image was to invite world leaders and other distinguished personalities to the country. So for a few years, we had a succession of visitors from all over the world.

One such visitor was Prince Bertil, uncle of Sweden’s King Carl XVI Gustaf. Accompanying the prince was his British girlfriend, Lillian Craig. Since I was assigned to the prince, it was part of my responsibilities to keep him posted on the activities in his honor. While going through the sitting arrangements for the dinner to be hosted by Malacañang, he was aghast at the fact that Craig was seated at another table instead of with him. According to the Palace protocol office, Craig had no official standing and therefore could not be seated at the main table. (I am reminded that when Nelson Mandela visited the country in 1994, he was accompanied by his girlfriend Graça Machel and she was seated at the main table during the dinner hosted by President and Mrs. Fidel Ramos. There appeared to be no problems with protocol—RJF)

Prince Bertil refused to go along with the arrangements. In the end, Craig was seated at the presidential table.

I recall that the Palace protocol staff filled up the dining room mostly with business leaders of the community.

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Last week, Prince Bertil’s nephew, King Carl XVI Gustaf, was in town on the occasion of the Invitational Peace Jamboree of the Boy Scouts of the Philippines. The king is the honorary chair of the World Scout Foundation. Our Vice President Jejomar Binay is the national president of the local organization.

Just a few notes on our visitor.

In the past, all the monarchs of Sweden bore the title “By the grace of God, King of the Swedes, the Goths, and the Wends.” This centuries-old tradition came to an end when Carl Gustaf chose the plain and simple title “King of Sweden.” The idea behind the change is reflected in his personal motto “For Sweden—With the Times.”

Under the 1974 Instrument of Government, the king no longer appoints the prime minister of the country. Neither does he hold the post of commander-in-chief of its armed forces. He is best known as the presenter of the Nobel Prizes in Physics, Chemistry, Physiology or Medicine, and Literature that are traditionally awarded in Stockholm, Sweden.

King Carl Gustaf is married to the former Silvia Sommerlath, a commoner of German-Brazilian ancestry. As a tribute to their new queen, the Swedish musical group ABBA performed their hit song “Dancing Queen” for the first time during wedding festivities in June 1976. The couple met earlier at the ’72 Summer Olympics in Munich, Germany, where she served as an interpreter for the Games.

Aside from attending the scout jamboree at Mt. Makiling, King Carl Gustaf also visited Tacloban to look into relief and rehabilitation projects funded by the Swedish government through the United Nations Office for Coordination of Humanitarian Assistance. It was the first visit to the Philippines by the Swedish monarch.