Young and in gov’t

Some people—my mother, for instance—would regard government work as the safe road. Well, maybe it is, if you have kids to feed and bloated tuition and a mortgage fee to pay. But for a typical twentysomething whose only major yearning is a travel escapade each year, government service is anything but safe.

It’s not easy and it’s not cool. Your idealism hits you every day, resulting in migraine, back pain, and acid reflux—sometimes these three all together in one day.

I entered the government service when I was 22. For a brief moment I felt how it is to visit a foreign country with a completely different language. There are people who are willing to speak the universal language, but some would rather have you learn their ways on your own. Some root for you to eventually assimilate, others just wait for you to get fed up, pack up and leave.

This phase will greatly determine one’s character amidst pressure. Two years ago I was scared. But I was too principled to get out of there without leaving a mark.

Entering an organization run by people with decades of experience, what can a newbie possibly prove? What mark was I thinking of leaving? Being young is often equated with being dynamic. This means that you are expected to be flexible in various tasks, and to be always available for trips and overtime.

As someone so eager to fit in, I thrive in every given task, no matter how difficult, no matter how clueless I may be about it. I saw these tasks as proof of my value in the organization. “Without me, who’s going to do these?” So, yes, in the early days, in the adjustment phase, it was really all about me. I simply took what was given and left once it was done. Being good enough did not matter, because I knew I’d have my own time for that. I just wanted to thrive. That guarded me from all the other intricacies of the organization. I could have stayed as that highly obliging, self-centered, scared newbie, but I didn’t. You can’t.

An organization’s culture will always find a way to creep into your veins. You can let it fully control you, or you can choose to live in discomfort, battling it every day. I chose the latter. No matter how much you try, there is no ignoring the problems that have been curdling society, leading it to rot. You will care. You get sick in the stomach trying to be optimistic, despite everything. Optimism for society seems to be the unwritten requirement for being a government worker, and I take that seriously. As someone young and full of ideals, I know it takes a lot of strength to stray from cynicism. But in quite a hard way, you learn that bashing and complaints will not do anything to move things forward.

Being a young government worker makes you feel older than you should be. While most people say that it’s an act of settling, working for the government can actually be one of the most unsettling jobs. “Only if you let it,” my mother insists. I will.

Most of society’s problems exist now because too many people choose to be blind and deaf, in exchange for a settling place. To be young and working in the government means having a more direct access to effecting change. My work is not just about Me anymore. My small, prudent steps will matter. And that’s the kind of mark I want to leave.

Kathy Mateo, 24, is working in the communication division of a government agency in Davao City.