Rules and guidelines for a happy life

Days before my 80th birthday, Tien Xuan Doe hands me a book to read. He says that Anna (his wife, my daughter) has no time to read it yet. She should read it, the husband says, because the wife is very much like the author.

The book is Gretchen Rubin’s “The Happiness Project,” how she went about finding what brings happiness into people’s lives, particularly hers. She shared the success of her happiness project by writing this book, which has landed on the New York Times’ best-selling list.

My favorite part is Chapter 8, where the author resolves to imitate a spiritual master when she contemplates the heavens and eternity. After extensive research and reading, Rubin (a non-Catholic) finds St. Therese of the Child Jesus and her “little way of the soul.” Touché!

In Chapter 10, Rubin advises us to make our own rules and guidelines for a happy life and abide by them. At 80, I thought it was too late for that. But there were those laborers in the vineyard who came in at the 11th hour and were paid equally as the early birds (Matt. 20: 1-16). I was led back to what we learned at home and in school, which guided me through 80 years of existence on planet Earth. Believe me, it wasn’t a walk in the park.

Here, therefore, are my rules and guidelines for a happy life, in addition to the 10 Commandments, which are basic to all Christians.

• The Great Commandment. Every word in Luke 10: 25-27 is clear. No explanation is necessary except that no matter how hard you try to obey this commandment, you will not always succeed, but try your best you must.

• The corporal works of mercy. I find it hard to believe that all you need to do to go to heaven are the corporal works of mercy (plus not sinning against God’s laws, of course), but there it says so in Matt. 25: 34-46).

• The Golden Rule and, corollary to it, the Law of Karma which I really believe. Experience will tell you that the good and bad you do to others come back to you, multiplied.

• Let go and let God. Put your absolute trust in our Heavenly Father because in His infinite wisdom He knows what’s best for us.

• The one and only way to the Father, however, is through His Son, Jesus Christ. In Him and with Him alone can we touch base with the Father. We better cleave to Jesus of Nazareth at all times and at all costs.

• Don’t forget Mother Mary and her rosary. God’s mother is always there for us. Hasten to her, mind her, love her.

• More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of (Matt. 7: 7-10), but when you pray for whatever you want, the refrain should always be: Thy will be done.

• Pray for others, for the good of all concerned. (This is from Catherine Ponder, Unitarian minister and author). Pray for the poor souls, too. They return favors given them.

• Work and pray. Following St. Benedict’s rule of “ora et labora” doesn’t guarantee big bucks or the mother lode, but it will spare you from want or from the poorhouse. (I studied under Benedictine nuns.)

• Cleanliness is next to godliness. Cleanliness also means no clutter. Some people go so far as saying that if your room or house is cluttered, so is your mind and/or your life.

• Honesty is the best policy. It’s always easier to tell the truth. When you tell a lie, you have to spin a web of lies thereafter. Sooner or later, you’ll be caught in that web.

• Forget and forgive. I put “forget” first because “forgive” easily follows.

• Don’t dwell on past hurts and wrongs done to you. This prolongs the pain and will make you bitter and your life miserable. Once you become a senior citizen, it is useless to get angry or stressed, even if you have good reason to be, because it makes your blood pressure soar.

• Be kind and gentle in all the events of life. This won’t be easy, but good manners and right conduct will help.

• From Sister Caridad, OSB: Be a lady of Christian character. This was the finished product she expected from her Scholastican students.

• Remember the parable of the talents? You are told to make the most of the talents, skills and gifts you have been endowed with, or woe unto you. Well, then, aim high, shoot for the stars, and do your very best.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Of course, you won’t always succeed because you aren’t God. Be ready to accept failure, with a sense of humor, and move on.

• Take the last seat rather than the first (Luke 14: 7-13) even when you have attained smashing SRO success.

• Be a helping hand with a cheerful heart, but don’t wait for thanks or reward in return. On the other hand, always express your thanks and appreciation for whatever good is done or given to you, no matter how small.

• Have a grateful heart and a grateful mind (from G. Rubin). Be happy and thankful for what you have now. Imagine if you were to lose all of it at once and you have to start from scratch again.

• Use the silverware, the crystal and the bone china now. And starting today, show/express your love and care for family and friends. The days are long and the years are short. Life is too short to save your good things and your good deeds for later because, truly, later may never come.

• Take time to smell the roses, to hear the music, to read, read some more, and read even more.

• Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Gift yourself and others with the joy of laughter.

• May no one be less good for having come within your influence, no one less true, less kind, less noble for having been your fellow traveler toward eternal life.

• Finally: “What doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world and suffer the loss of his own soul?”

Celine Olaguer Sarte, 80, is a bookworm and a puzzle addict. Sometimes she writes. She loves Bach, Mozart, Beethoven et al., the Classicists and the Romantics. Sometimes she plays their works.