A gift for mom

APRIL 3 is Mother’s Day in Ireland. And it’s my mom’s birthday as well. So today is supposed to be a double celebration for her. As much as I would like to make this day extra-special for her, well, I can only do so much since I am in Ireland and she is in the Philippines. Still I’m going to make her day really special, and the only thing I know how is through something that I believe I’m somehow good at—writing.

There are so many things I would like to say but the truth is, words are not enough to express how much I love her. Sometimes, words are even the cause of her pain and it saddens me that I am responsible for many of them. As much as I have a way with words, I also screw up a lot with them.

I think that since I belong to the world of the grown-ups now, I can understand them completely. Their actions and their way of thinking are no longer different from mine. We are now on the same level of expertise when it comes to tackling life.

However, being a mother is a different story. It’s a full-time, all-out profession. When you’re not a mother yourself, then you will never truly understand the full job description of motherhood. Being a mother is the most complex, delicate, challenging and demanding job in the world. At the same time, it is also the most wonderful, most fulfilling and most gratifying job. The discipline of motherhood entails an equal dose of being overprotective and being lax, a vial of immunity from stress, abundant understanding and unconditional love.

Well, being children and not yet mothers makes it hard for us to understand their actions. Sometimes we think that we know better than them since we are the most affected when it comes to decisions concerning our lives. But mothers will always have a say about those decisions simply because they are our mothers—and mothers are, no matter what, irreplaceable. It’s not that they want to always take the center stage and keep that sense of control they used to have over us, back when we had no mind of our own. But it’s because they love us that much, more than life and love itself, that they want us to have a good, if not the best, kind of life. Maybe they won’t always know what’s best for us but surely they always want what’s best for us.

I’ve been one of those daughters who have constantly failed to see and appreciate my mom’s efforts and sacrifices to help me build my life the right way. And it was really hard for her when the day finally came that I had to ask her for my freedom. Being a mom is forever, and it’s always heartbreaking to let go of your kids because sooner or later, they’re going to be adults themselves and they’re going to have a family of their own. I spread my wings and soared by myself at a very young age. For my mom, I wasn’t ready then. But I thought otherwise. In a way, we were both right and wrong.

Nonetheless, she allowed me to go. Even though I was flying on my own, every time I looked down, I saw her there on solid ground, assuring me that no matter what, she was going to catch me should I fall. It was her eyes that sparkled the most among the people I ran into. She was the proudest during all my moments of achievements, and she felt the most pain every time I stumbled.

Sometimes I take her for granted and it hurts her big time. But she never gives up on me and she never lets me give up on myself either.

My mom and I may not always agree on everything all the time. But one thing is for sure though—we love each other very much. Amid our endless arguments and misunderstandings and all the other things that we’ve been through, I know in my heart and in hers that we never loved each other any less. And that through thick and thin, we will always have each other. She’s my person and I am hers too.

Happy Birthday and Happy Mother’s Day, Mama. I love you forever.

And to all the mothers in the world: Happy Mother’s Day!

Maria Solita Zaldivar, 21, graduated from the University of Sto. Tomas with a degree in BS Psychology and used to work for a member of the House of Representatives. She wrote this in Dublin, Ireland.