Raising children through positive discipline

Child discipline is a valuable part of parenthood.

But “discipline” does not necessarily mean punishment and scolding. Parents need to consider that the most vulnerable among us, our children, have the right to be protected from physical, emotional and psychological harm.

The controversial ordinance passed this year by the Cebu City Council, which promotes positive and nonviolent forms of child discipline and prohibits corporal and other forms of degrading and humiliating punishment, drew varying reactions from the public, most especially parents and guardians. For them, it deprives them of their right to discipline their children in the way they want.

Corporal punishment is intended to impose discomfort and pain in a child. Among its forms are beating, kicking, pinching, confining a child in a room, and burning body parts using hot candle wax. Verbal abuse, such as name-calling, also counts as corporal punishment.

The physical manifestations of corporal punishment are broken bones, wounds or scars. Blindness is one of the worst possible effects. The less obvious but with the greatest impact is psychological trauma, which affects a child’s well-being and development.

Children who are victims of physical punishment exhibit aggression toward other children. This may lead to the victimization of other children outside their homes. Also, intense physical punishment may cross the line to abuse and serious injury.

Physical punishment may cause stress in children. Chronic stress and the body’s response to it lead to the development of the hormone cortisol, whose negative effects are behind many health-related problems such as poor bone formation and slow cognitive development.

The way parents discipline their children also affects the latter’s self-confidence and outlook in life.  It may even result in children’s emotional alienation from their parents, depression, and anger management problems as they grow up.

Corporal punishment does not necessarily teach children what’s right or wrong. Instead, it promotes violence as an appropriate response to problems.

Parents must realize that positive discipline, and not the infliction of pain or fear, works best. By properly explaining to children the wrong they did and how they should have behaved, parents help them develop self-control and a sense of accountability. Thus, children learn that imposing pain in any form is not needed to resolve conflict.

Discipline is an integral part of our culture, but culture evolves over time. Adults must be open to new and better ways of disciplining children so as not to repeat the mistakes of the past.

The Cebu City ordinance is a good step to helping parents understand what discipline really is. Government agencies and private groups must also strive to inform parents about the ordinance and the importance of positive discipline.

Parents and guardians are children’s first teachers. Whatever children see in and learn from them is imprinted on their minds.

—AMAYA ABOITIZ,

executive director,

Ramon Aboitiz Foundation Inc.

Dolores Aboitiz Children’s Fund,

[email protected]