Merry meanings 

I’ve grown to think that “‘tis the season to be jolly.”

For years I’ve seen relatives throwing grand celebrations with seemingly unlimited “ampao,” godchildren getting the best things they wanted all year long, friends that clink their beer bottles together at the best bar in town after months of missing-in-action, partners who rekindle their passion through a week-long holiday getaway, and most of all, family members who go back to the place where their aspirations began with the people who guided them toward it—home.

These are the typical “Paskong Pinoy” moments. As a local station Christmas jingle puts it: “Walang katulad ang Pasko sa ‘Pinas.” Yet as the holidays draw closer, a question gradually awakens with the cold Christmas breeze, sucking up its warmth and replacing it with a melancholic pause that recycles every year: “Is this the ‘Merry’ in ‘Christmas’?”

It seems like a dumb question. After all, happiness is subjective—that’s why the world is technically a “happy” place to live in due to the many ways that could make one happy. But why does there seem to be a “how-to” guide for celebrating during the holidays?

What motivated this thought again was a situation at the supermarket. I passed by the cooking oil section when I overheard two women, mothers presumably, buying their “noche buena” essentials. Their conversation revolved around the meals they would be cooking for Christmas Eve. I heard the staple mango graham and lasagna, and then it came to this line:

“Nakakahiya naman kasi kapag onti yung handa, magmumukha kaming kawawa.”

If I wasn’t an introvert, I would have been more than willing to tell them that, in this economy, it is understandable. Yet I realized that this is an untackled conversation on how Filipinos celebrate the holidays.

This is not an isolated case.

Every year, I scroll through social media and see mutual followings flexing their gifts, ampao, family pictures in large houses, and family members who show up in their shiny cars and store-bought outfits. What each family brings to the table during holiday reunions even determines who would wash the dishes at the end of the day. Not to mention the size of a house’s Christmas tree matters, as per my grandma who takes its decorating seriously. The clothes you wear, the food you eat and give, the gifts you receive, and every material thing you own seem to have been the central point of celebrating the holidays.

I mean, who won’t even flaunt it? Expressing gratitude and being proud or happy receiving it is within one’s own liberty and social media is the perfect place for it. We live in a world today where romanticizing what we own is normal—but to what extent? Everyone isn’t entirely responsible for other people’s lives, “no one cares” so to speak. But highlighting the material aspects that come with the generous nature of Christmas and taking advantage of the holidays to make it a full-blown parading extravaganza puts those who could not or choose not to celebrate that way perhaps rethink their holiday outlook.

My faith is not as devout as many others but I’ve always known that Christmas is celebrated because of the birth of Jesus Christ in a manger. It was just His parents and the three kings who each gave symbolic gifts. Epochs ago, the first Christmas was a simple and humble celebration of the birth of our savior, nothing grand or extravagant but an event of purpose and meaning.

Going back to the supermarket woman—it’s completely all right if all you can provide from a meager salary is a meal made from love. It’s also equally okay if your Christmas tree isn’t taller than you. Having a few friends is enough even if the gift they can only give is loyalty, wisdom, and kindness—the meaningful values one needs in this ever-demanding world. Above all, it’s okay if you have no one else to celebrate the holidays with—no justification is needed.

Christmas is more than the grandiosity or much-hyped “standard of happiness.” It is a celebration best spent with those you value and love dearly.

So, instead of replaying iconic Christmas songs as early as October, we could reflect on what it means to be “merry” during the holidays. Should one mark their holidays with gift counts and tag prices or draw meaning from the real reason for the season?

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Zarena Hermogeno, 22, is a senior undergrad student currently doing her thesis during the holidays.