Choose empathy

A significant limitation of the human brain is its inherent difficulty in processing what large numbers truly mean. Research has demonstrated that there is no ceiling to how much we can count and compute, but our comprehension becomes more abstract as the numbers grow larger. This means that while it is effortless for us to imagine what a group of five people looks like, envisioning 5,000 individuals and how it differs from a crowd of five million becomes considerably more challenging to comprehend.

When news reports discuss the casualties of war, they aim to provide a clear picture of the extent of devastation and suffering caused. Unfortunately, the reality is that when these deaths and injuries are presented as large numbers, people often struggle to truly grasp their magnitude. Our brain does not automatically recognize how each number represents an individual, a human being whose life has been tragically and prematurely cut short.

In less than three weeks since the attack in Israel and the start of daily bombings in Gaza, the rising death toll has alarmingly shown how children are undeniably the biggest victims of conflict. Among the 1,400 killed by the terror attack of Hamas in South Israel, it is estimated that more than 30 Israeli children have been killed, and at least 20 are still being held captive. According to the latest report by the Palestinian health ministry, out of the 6,747 who had been killed by the bombings in Gaza, at least 2,665 were Palestinian children. Parents in Gaza have started to write the names of the children on their legs, making sure they can be identified if they are taken to hospitals or morgues.

Apart from lives lost, the cost of violence also encompasses the children who will be deeply impacted by the traumatic experiences they have endured. During times of war, when the social fabric unravels, children suddenly find themselves deprived of the care, resources, and opportunities essential for them to grow and thrive. So long as the war continues, more deaths will tragically occur, and more children will be robbed of the possibilities they once had access to.

And yet, as a BBC article had recently highlighted, much of the disinformation coming from both sides in the ongoing conflict in the Israel-Hamas war has been focused on downplaying the violence being committed against children. BBC social media correspondent Marianna Spring discussed how the tragic deaths of Omer, killed in a Hamas attack on his home, and Omar, killed in an Israeli airstrike, were met with allegations that their deaths were fabricated. Instead of being able to mourn in peace, their loved ones found themselves needing to defend the authenticity of these heartbreaking stories.

This should serve as a reminder to all of us to embrace greater empathy when taking part in online discourse related to any kind of conflict. Often, our focus on being right and voicing our sentiments has led to discussions devoid of the humanity of those affected. Perhaps if we take a moment to imagine ourselves in the shoes of those compelled to face terror, death, and destruction daily, we may find ourselves responding with increased respect and compassion.

At a time when one’s grief, anger, and fears could be easily weaponized, I am deeply inspired by the position taken by Women Wage Peace—the largest grassroots peace movement in Israel “promoting nonviolence and greater women involvement in efforts to end the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.” Despite the unthinkable loss and suffering they had experienced in the Oct. 7 attacks, they asserted that injustice cannot be resolved by another injustice, and extended a gesture of peace to the mothers in Gaza and the West Bank. “We must turn every stone in order to reach a political solution. This is our obligation for the future of our children … Every mother, Jewish and Arab, gives birth to her children to see them grow and flourish and not to bury them.”

Last Friday, the United Nations (UN) General Assembly passed a nonbinding resolution calling for an immediate humanitarian truce, and providing aid access to Gaza. It received 120 votes in favor, 14 No votes, while 45 countries chose to abstain including the Philippines—which was attributed to the resolution’s lack of explicit condemnation of the Hamas-led attacks. This marks the first formal response of the UN to the ongoing conflict after the Security Council failed to secure consensus in four past efforts.

I continue to hope, as naive as it may be, that those in power will heed the call for a ceasefire and work toward a more peaceful path forward. A friend said it would likely take a miracle; I pray for that miracle every day. In the meantime, may we strive to put a face on and remember to humanize the devastating numbers that we read.

eleanor@shetalksasia.com