I got a new phone and you know how difficult it is to learn its many functions. After one week I still could hardly navigate through its many channels available for learning and for entertainment.
I stumbled on a dating site. So many, their number boggles the mind.
I decided to explore the only site for seniors first, because generally speaking seniors are considered harmless. I may be wrong, of course. The men and women presented there were all below 30 years old, all of them claiming to be 91, 102, 111 years old. For sure, I just met a bunch of liars.
Well, there was one likeable senior-looking guy and I said “Hi!” to him, but after a week he still had not responded.
It may be that I am not his type or—I can only guess—he gave up on that site or, perhaps, he died. Who knows?
So I decided to move on to another site which looked promising. Being an extremely honest person, I submitted my latest photo and told the truth in filling out the form about my age of 78 years. I have never seen so many young men so in love with my cute smile, my tantalizing eyes and a lot more I’d better not mention here. Obviously they all had the same intentions. By their words you could tell: hi sexy, hi honey, you hot!! you got skype?? and, wanna go to bed with me? I got asked many times: “Are you really 78?” as though hoping against hope that I was really, well, maybe 50. I would say, “looks can be deceiving.”
From my observation, many of the sex-hungry young men were from other countries—mostly from India and the Middle East. There were only a few Asians, a sprinkling of Filipinos and a few residents of the United States. Why many of these young men were trying to get the attention of a woman with white hair beats me, but when I read to my friends what they were saying to me, we all almost died laughing.
One of them asked me to send him a photo of my boobs, as he called it. I was tempted to accommodate him, but for the mercy and intervention of some power above. I don’t know how to take a good selfie and I am not a techie. As for my boobs, well, the darn things are not going to win any beautiful boobs contest anytime.
The pretty decent older guys whose ages ranged from 40 to 60 lived in the United States. Many of them asked for my e-mail explaining that they wanted to know me better. But I met my first presumed scammer. He asked me if I have ever visited the United States before. I said, yes. Then he said, would you like to visit again, but quickly added, or I could visit you. I had a strong feeling he was formulating a sinister plan that included me and the transportation of illegal drugs.
A pretty woman said hi and I said hi, and she recited all kinds of nice things about me. When she thought she had me, a photo of a scary-looking man appeared on the screen and she said, it’s me, it’s me. So, it was really a guy I was talking to, not a lesbian.
Dating sites are not the thing for senior ladies. Most of the gentlemen our age have lost interest in friendship with a lady. Some may have the desire, but don’t have strong enough knees to carry out the job and, perhaps, most have gone on to the great beyond.
But for our consolation, we have piles of books to read, and TV and cable are available. And girl friends are nicer to hang out with.
Shirley Wilson de las Alas is 78 and writing is one of her hobbies.