In a seeming moment of epiphany, President Duterte supposedly pledged to cut his swearing and cursing henceforth. He doesn’t really have to stop it entirely (neither has he promised to). I’d be fine if he can reserve his swearing for those who truly deserve it, especially if the swearing comes with curbing their misdeeds with the same determination he is showing in his war on drugs. Even I occasionally find myself muttering the same expletives the President spouts when faced with certain kinds of people and the loathsome things they do.
High in my list of the curse-worthy are “kotong” traffic cops who concoct offenses (including their all-time favorite, “swerving”) and threaten you with huge fines so they can get you to pay for their next meal. One such traffic enforcer recently pounced upon my son, as he turned from Quirino Avenue into Taft Avenue in Manila. There’s a distinct right-turning lane there, separated by a triangular island. There is no “No Right Turn on Red” sign; in fact, a “Give Way” sign there implies that one can turn right anytime for as long as he or she yields to oncoming traffic on Taft. But when my son, who has never had a traffic citation, carefully made his turn when there was a gap in the traffic, an intimidating traffic enforcer descended on him like a hungry wolf finding its prey. The cop declared that he was in for a fine of P2,000, apart from having to take a driving seminar, but “kaya kitang tulungan para di ka na maabala” (I can help you so you don’t have to be inconvenienced). I firmly told my son not to play along, and just give up his license. He didn’t notice that the cop added “code 55—reckless driving” on his ticket, after initially writing his offense as “code 79—no right turn.”
Days later, I went with him to Manila City Hall, intent on contesting the ticket, and armed with a video and photos of the Quirino-Taft intersection to prove that his apprehension was uncalled for. At the front line of the Manila Traffic and Parking Bureau office was another curse-worthy woman who would not hear of any protest. Treating my 30-year-old son like a little child, she arrogantly ordered him to fill out the form for paying the fine, which she said would be P3,000, apart from the required seminar. Seeing no hope there, I decided we should go to the Mayor’s office. We patiently lined up and waited nearly two hours to see Mayor Joseph Estrada himself to tell him that kotong cops were still very much around operating under his nose, despite his professed crusade against them. He was very accommodating and apologetic, and his staff confirmed that the Quirino-Taft crossing was indeed a known “ambush zone” (their term for such motorist traps).
To cut the long story short, we got my son’s license back, and an assurance that the erring enforcer would be promptly fired. I’m under no illusion that the likes of him have been banished from our roads, nonetheless. Until they are, we can only keep cursing.
These past days, amid traffic jams caused by hordes of travelers on the road to visit their dead, many of us surely came across another one of my favorite curse objects: those impatient boors who create a counterflow lane and make traffic worse in the process. I have yet to see or hear of anyone doing that who got apprehended and ticketed.
Enforcing discipline on the roads is what so-called traffic enforcers should be doing, and not concocting traffic offenses with which to extort bribes from hapless motorists while turning a blind eye to the real offenses that tie up our traffic. All I see them do besides mulcting motorists is blow their whistles and wave cars through—including those who create an improper counterflow lane(!)—as if waving their hands would magically make traffic flow more smoothly. They must get those mindless road hogs to behave like civilized people by having them pay the P2,000 fines that innocent people caught in “ambush zones” are often being forced to pay.
There’s more in my list of those worthy to be cursed, and you probably have your own. I’d say let the President’s ire and colorful language fall on them, but let’s spare the rest.
cielito.habito@gmail.com