Her presence

“If she comes back, I will never hesitate to ask for her sweet ‘yes.'”

I’m just a man who has simple dreams that somewhere in the road of life, I will fall in love with a girl possessing a one-of-a-kind personality. She is the one I want to commit my life to and be my partner in tough and good times, in laughter and in tears.

But sometimes, down the road comes the letting go of someone we truly love the most, one of hardest parts of the journey. For some, it might be the toughest decision. We want to kiss and hug them tight but the space now makes it difficult. All we can do is look at their beautiful pictures, wishing the sweet old days will happen again. The feeling dictates the mind to live with the reality of acceptance and move on, but the heart is in no position to stop the melancholy.

Amid the freshness of wounds are moments when I dream of her.  Every day, I vividly picture how she tightly holds my hand. How she caresses me with her warmth hug. How our lips touch, wishing that the moment will never end. I dream of walking her down the aisle, expressing our vows of commitment while I put a ring on her finger. We have promised to love each other till death do us apart. I thank the Almighty Father that He has given me the most beautiful and perfect woman whom I will be taking care of till the sky turns into the great abyss. I dream of building a family with our three little cute angels, one happy family in a simple home.

These days, I wake up without her, crying. I feel the loneliness and regret that every broken heart feels, trying to bring our time—her—back. Some say there is a light at the end of a dark tunnel and inner strength will be only thing helping one stand. This cliché has become my mantra to ease the pain.

There are spaces that separate us now. Maybe she now has the luxury of time and is enjoying life to the fullest. Maybe she can now find that special someone who will be better than me. Or maybe she is figuring out things on her own so that she can be the best that she can be. No matter where life brings her, I will always be happy for her and hope that she always does well.

Some might say that letting her go is a gamble, but I believe in fate. If she is the one for me, time will make a way for us to be back in each other’s lives. I feel that my dreams will become a reality—days, months, a year from now, who knows. But now may be a time for us to reflect. We are, after all, two individuals who look at love in a more profound and mature way.

I’m writing this with utmost sincerity to let her know that I will always be thankful for having her in my life, for admiring and loving so deeply that I cannot understand why I feel so much for someone beyond my expected definition of love. Two people who truly love each other might be separated physically but the memories and joy they shared together will last even a lifetime. That’s why I don’t want to end this and say goodbye. I can still feel that fate will not totally separate us. If she comes back, I will never hesitate to ask for her sweet “yes,” marry her and live my dreams with her all days of our lives.

Right now, if I have a single favor that I will keep asking of her, that will be not to completely close the door for the two of us. I can still feel her presence that even if there are spaces between us, this quest for a forever love will not be in vain.

Miguel Angelo D. Dioquino is a full-time developmental worker who believes that “love has no definition—it’s something that should be felt without boundaries.”

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