If jobs were men, then I’m a failure

It was in December 2013 when I walked down the aisle. Remembering my wedding day still elicits in me pride and joy, for marrying my first and last love—the dream of every woman. I felt very happy and accomplished as I married the love of my life. I can definitely say that in the heart department, I’m a success.

But in terms of career, the opposite has happened to me.

If jobs were men, then I am certainly a failure. I have jumped from one relationship to another, so to speak. When it comes to work, my heart has been broken lots of times. The breakups were hard, stressful, and intensely painful (in both heart and mind), and turned my world upside down. yet fulfilling for me as a person, and as a woman.

I remember succumbing to the allure of the BPO (business process outsourcing) industry. The job offer was enticing. The promise of quick profit so got to me that saying no was not an option. As a fresh college graduate, I was at the zenith of euphoria, so proud to achieve my dreams as easily and as fast as I could.

But in the nine months of work as a customer service representative, answering a hundred calls every single day of the week, I got tired and bored, and grew a bit reluctant to discharge my responsibilities. Often I questioned myself: Is this really the kind of career I want to grow old with? The answer—No—was quick, as quick as the decision I made to enter the industry. I realized that my heart deserved a rest, so I broke up with the job.

Until an opportunity to write came at the exact time I needed it.

Backed by a degree in communications, I was confident that I could do the job. I had had enough rest, so I gave my heart another chance to fall in love with a flamboyant suitor—a job as a biography and travel writer in broadcast journalism.

On my first day in the office, my heart was leaping for joy, as if the job and I were meant to be. The work was exciting. I traveled to places I had seen in magazines, interviewed people from the hoi polloi to the luminaries, wrote script after script under the pressure of deadlines. During field work, I was often asked by people what my job was; the moment I said “writer,” I always got a smile. There were even times when students asked to have pictures with me (as if I were a celebrity), after knowing that I wrote for a living. What a pleasant feeling!

For two years, writing became a comfort zone for me. Mentally, I wondered what it would be like to do the business side of communications. But emotionally, I again wanted to split from the job relationship and try a new venture.

Everything seemed to happen at a rapid pace. I broke the relationship and my heart and I plunged into the enchanting world of advertising as a media planner. Everything was new—my role, my routine, my responsibilities, and even my hopes, dreams, and identity. It turned out to be a pretty neat job, but during the times that I was computing brand budgets, preparing PowerPoint presentations for meetings and such, I felt so unproductive. I was unhappy. No matter my reminders to myself—“I love this job” and “This is the change that I wanted for so long”—I felt confused and lost, because deep in my heart I knew that the job relationship was not for me.

It was another painful job breakup for me. But I knew that the only way for me to move on was to try one more time, so I embarked on a new, risky journey: I became an entrepreneur. I engaged in buy and sell, and unbelievably, I earned some money. Yet I wasn’t happy. Simultaneously, I teamed up with one of my closest friends in college in setting up a wedding coordination business. But the clientele was too slow to build. I was so impatient that I left my business partner and grabbed the opportunity to apply as an English teacher in an international school in Tokyo.

It was a make-or-break decision for me to leave my home country and my loved ones to work overseas. I flew to Tokyo and submitted the requirements. But after three months of waiting, my desire to work in Japan was not granted. Maybe God had better plans.

Trying my best to be positive and strong, I returned to Manila and energetically submitted my resumé to an events company that needed a senior activations officer. Thankfully I was hired, and given big responsibilities that, I was convinced, I was incapable of meeting.

I never thought I would enjoy events. The energy and the fast-paced environment were just right for me. I loved the fact that events people could make something out of nothing and then execute it. I loved every bit of it, except that my body could scarcely rest. Again, I broke the job relationship, but with a win-win proposition: doing events freelance.

I must say that in the heart department, I’ve been truly blessed to find the right match—“The One” whom God has destined for me. But in terms of my career, I can honestly admit that I am a failure. And like anyone who is in the process of healing, I am little by little confronted by my past career mistakes and learning the tough lessons that God is teaching me—to be content, to be thankful, and to simply love whatever job He has provided me.

These days I am doing corporate and personal events, one project at a time. I also get to teach my favorite subject as a student online, in the comfort of my home. This, I think, is a blessing, because I am pregnant with our firstborn and preparing to be the hands-on mother that I desire to be.

I am grateful to God for another opportunity to start again, to find purpose in what I do now and to be content and happy with what’s on my plate. Maybe I’m back to square one, or, who knows, maybe this is “The One” in my career. I am bullish of the future.

Monette Lamsen-Obera, 28, is a freelance events officer and online teacher of English.