What will happen to marriage vows?

Divorce talk sucks. Everything about it smacks of failure. The door to hell on earth opens wide. Destroyed families, traumatized children, defaulted commitment, devastated parents and relatives. Sociologically, divorce weakens society’s moral fibers. Psychologically divorce promotes skepticism among the youth.

The jargons of divorce mean self-destruction. Psychological incapacity is the euphemism for total disaster. It involves character defects such as physical abuse (wife-beating), infidelity (adulterous), verbal abuse (expletives! expletives!), financial neglect (a gambler, a drunkard, and a bum), and immaturity (mama’s boy). Most of these are dastardly acts of men. No wonder the feminist movement advocates divorce.

Divorce erupts with a bang of a door being slammed, followed by the shouting of expletives and invectives, ear-splitting screams, and cries of pain, plates being hurled to smithereens and children crying out hoarse. All hell breaking loose.

Today our lawmakers are pushing for the enactment of a divorce law. It’s meant for married couples viciously incapable of fulfilling their marriage vows. Once divorced, they can take another crack at another marriage (but retaining same old character flaw?) or renounce married life forever as a hard-boiled skeptic.

It’s about time to get real, divorce advocates say. They rue the Philippines for being the only country in the world without a divorce law, as if joining the bandwagon for losers is the latest fad in this crazy world.

Catholicism believes that marriage is a partnership of man and woman endowed by God with transcendence for the fulfillment of selfless love and the miracle of procreation. A mystical union not only of body and mind but also of heart and soul.

The sacrament of matrimony is so revered in the Gospel that Catholicism deems it doctrinal that the matrimonial bond is indissoluble, broken only if one of the spouses dies. Says the Holy Book, “What God has joined together let no man put asunder.” To make sure that there’s no misunderstanding the marriage vows make it more specific, “…to have and to hold, from this day forward, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health ’till death do us part.”

Let’s revisit the beauty and fecundity of the marrying kind. The first and original bride has this one fantastic day as the most beautiful bride in the world, wearing the most resplendent gown in her entire life, marching down the aisle as the princess in a true-to-life fairy tale. She’s awesome. The future is hers.

The first and original groom has this one momentous day to manifest his masculinity, to commit to his life’s ambition, to embark on a self-motivated journey to pursue the fulfillment and pride in fatherhood. Just do it. Success awaits the lover.

Catholicism confers to the wedded man and woman the resolve for optimism and strength of unity. It is duty-bound to defend the integrity and sanctity of the marriage vows.

The Catholic Church’s big concern is the long-term effects of communal mindset in dismantling marriage for selfish motives and materialistic wants. A divorce law jeopardizes the common good of society because it institutionalizes marital failures, generating skepticism and obscuring the idealized stature of marriage and family life.

Our government has already established the law on legal separation to solve the problem of failed marriages. The Church accommodates the annulment of marriage provided the conditions for a Catholic marriage were not met prior to or after the matrimonial rites. A divorce law is unnecessary.

The Church adopts a futuristic concern on the domino effect of a communal mindset for divorce. A proliferation of divorces will result in the proliferation of broken homes, loveless children and teenage delinquency. The divorce climate is conducive for the youth to engage in free sex due to its low regard for the stability of marriage as an institution. The home, which is the domicile of formative values and virtues, becomes leaderless and clueless. There are no family values and filial piety to bequeath to the next generation. For the common good of society we can’t risk the damaging multiplier effects of a divorce law.

We have a long history on the efficacy of Christian marriages. The Filipino culture is built by stable and durable family life. Our women progenitors, our grandmothers and mothers, have fantastic maternal instincts enabling them to build happy homes full of selfless love, work values and relationship virtues. The masculine DNA of our grandfathers and fathers follow their compulsive fatherhood instincts, enabling them to be dutiful, industrious and supportive of family ambitions.

The brave Filipino family is the rule in our society, not the exception as the case in the materialistic cultures of the West. Our institution of  marriage manifests the pursuit of work excellence, a classic act of optimism. Divorce is a dead giveaway to skepticism. We Filipinos can do without it, if we want to be virtuous and daring as we reach for the stars.

A law for divorce? What will happen to marriage vows?

Minyong Ordoñez is a freelance journalist and a member of the Manila Overseas Press Club. Email: hgordonez@gmail.com