One man’s ‘spiritual awakening’ in a world of caring for others

The Youngblood article of Abelardo T. Palad IV (“For others,” Opinion, 5/26/15) reminds me of a very similar experience. In living my world of “me-ism,” I grew up in an alcoholic home that was very violent and where both parents had little time to try to understand my emotions. At an early age I developed an “I got mine, get your own” attitude. I carried this attitude into my college years and business career, where I became a very successful certified public accountant and, eventually, chief financial officer of a billion-dollar bank. In my marriage, it was my way, or you take the highway.

I became an irresponsible alcoholic. My wife got disgusted with my “me-ism” (read: selfishness) and she rightly divorced me. Only when my pockets turned empty because of my drinking vice did I reach out to the 12 Step program [a set of guiding principles (sometimes accepted by members as being “spiritual principles”) outlining a course of action for tackling problems including alcoholism, drug addiction and compulsion–Wikipedia] for help.

In my first two years in this program, people appraised me of my good points and bad points. I was always confused about the term “spiritual awakening.” I thought in my case it meant “stop drinking.”

One night at a 12 Step program meeting, I asked a fellow member of the program what spiritual awakening meant. She pointed the finger at my face and said, “Ed, your spiritual awakening is when you learn to care for your fellow man. I’ve known you for almost three years, and your only concern has been yourself with your ‘I got mine, get yours’ attitude.” I realized then that what she was telling me was true.

I realized, too, that I had to change, but I did not know how. But my God works in strange ways. Another 12 Step program meeting: As it began, an empty seat beside me, I said a silent prayer to my God. Let someone sit in this empty chair who might need help for his drinking problem. My wish was granted. A man sat beside me; he was drunk, smelling of alcohol. He looked like he hated the world. I looked at him and asked if he had a car. He said he didn’t. I took his right hand in my right hand, shook it and said to him: “If you like, I’d be your chauffeur and take you to the daily meetings of Alcoholic Anonymous. He said yes; and for the next year, except for two weeks, I would pick him up every night and took him to the AA meeting.

When I first met him he was a very angry individual who wanted to kill his boss. Then one night, he told me his boss was a fine man and that the problem was he and his resentments toward the boss. I watched this gentleman closely from the time I first met him. Every aspect of his life was getting better.

One night, I told my sponsor how much my “seat-neighbor” had changed. He replied: Not only was he changing but I, too, was changing because I had learned to care for another person. That was the beginning of my spiritual awakening.

I have found out from that experience that my greatest joy in living is having concern for people and trying to help them anyway I can. Happily my “me-ism” has left town. A whole new world has opened up to me and to caring for others. And for this, I am very grateful.

—EDWARD PLUNKETT, [email protected]