The politically correct parent

THESE days, our home has been awash in baby stuff, from infants’ clothes and feeding supplies to infant-sized furniture like cribs, play pens, changing tables and bouncers.

The reason is that in about two weeks’ time we will welcome the newest member of our family, the first-born of our son and his wife, but more important for the seniors in the family, the first grandchild for both sets of grandparents.

In the past few weeks, our living room, both floors of my son’s and his wife’s quarters, even his sister’s room, have been crowded with packing boxes, gift packages, bags and more bags of baby stuff. In the last few days, our son and his father have been busy hammering, screwing and studying package inserts to put together the various pieces of furniture that are apparently essential to the happiness of a baby and his/her family.

After we decided on a foldable playpen for the new arrival, my daughter-in-law and I spent many bewildering minutes trying to follow the salesman’s demonstration of how to put it together and take it apart, involving a confusing number of spare parts and covers, and a rotating mobile with three cute teddy bears. Let’s see if, once the time for setting up the playpen arrives, the hubby and the son can manage just by following the product insert, because I tell you the demonstration left me in a daze.

As you can see, the coming arrival, even before delivery, has taken over the family’s priorities, as well as the territory. And while I am as excited as heck to welcome the baby home, I tell you I am relieved as well to have been released of the burdens of motherhood, most especially the chore of waking up every 15 minutes at night in response to a wailing baby. I love my son and his wife, but I have no desire whatsoever to repeat my experience when he was a baby (his sister was a little better behaved).

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AND SO you dear readers must understand why I was immediately drawn to the photo on yesterday’s Inquirer front page of young mothers joyfully holding up their babies at an event designed to promote the use of cloth diapers.

There is, apparently, an online community of Filipino mothers who call themselves the Modern Cloth Nappying Pinays, united behind the cause of promoting the use of cloth diapers. This is as opposed to the use of disposable diapers, which has grown tremendously since my own early days of motherhood. Parents embraced disposables for their convenience. But environmentalists say the plastic-lined nappies compose the biggest number of nonbiodegradable trash in landfills. Why, I’ve even spotted an errant diaper or two while snorkeling!

The event, dubbed the “Great Cloth Diaper Change,” sought to bring together as large a number of mothers and their babies to simultaneously change their babies’ cloth diapers. The goal it seems was not so much to break existing records as to promote the use of cloth diapers among Filipino families.

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BUT the “Great Cloth Diaper Change” promoted the use not just of cloth diapers but also of “modern cloth nappies,” consisting of plastic or nonabsorbent cover (which come in all sorts of designs and colors) with elastic leg openings to prevent leaks, and with a cloth liner (made from cotton and even bamboo) which can be removed for washing and laundering.

Plastic diaper covers were available when I started down the road of motherhood, but I gave up on them after some time because my babies apparently found them hot and uncomfortable and would start crying once I put them on. Here’s hoping the coming grandchild finds them more comfortable!

I remember journeying all the way to Divisoria with my mother to buy “bird’s eye” cloth diapers for my first baby. At that time, disposables were still quite expensive so we used them only when we had to leave the house with the baby. Later, however, tiring of having to get up several times at night to change wet or soiled nappies, we resorted to disposables so he would sleep more or less through the night. Some years later, with my daughter’s arrival, we practically forgot about the lampin and resorted to disposables 24/7.

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TODAY, however, the demands of politically-correct parenthood require not just the use of cloth diapers but also extended breastfeeding, “organic” baby food that is prepared at home without any preservatives, and educational toys made from natural materials.

I have my own hopes for my grandchild, but I’m not listing them here to spare the parents any more pressure than they already, I’m sure, feel.

Parenthood is enough of a challenge without having to pay attention to an entire chorus of critics and advocates hectoring fatigued, insecure and sleepless new parents on the “best” way to raise their children. Parenthood is the most important job in the world, I wholeheartedly agree, but guess what, there’s room for mistakes, and not all mistakes are fatal or will have lifelong consequences.

It’s best to simply look on parenting as an adventure, and as with any adventure, there will be delays and inconveniences, times when you find yourself lost, making the wrong decisions, or eating bad food. But if you care enough and try hard enough, your children will most likely survive your mistakes, even if they toddle through childhood in disposable diapers.

It would be ideal, of course, if while you’re raising your children you also save the world and protect the environment at the same time. But if you cannot or refuse to, then just be the best parent you can be, which is essentially being true to who and what you are.