We’re still here

Feminism is an ugly thing to be associated with these days. Say “gender equality” and you’ll get a flood of angry responses listing why women can never be equal to men (not least because many women still expect men to pay for first dates). Post a video exposing men catcalling a female passerby and you’ll get criticized because those men were purportedly “just complimenting” the woman. Mention Anita Sarkeesian, and may you survive the wrath of anti-Sarkeesian gamers.

It’s perfectly understandable how someone can get sick and tired of hearing about feminism. The concept has become a shallow excuse that some girls turn to when they’re losing in arguments or when they’re not allowed to jump the queue at a coffee shop. It has been demoted to being a confused justification for both male-bashing and male-ogling, for condemning men and then crying foul when men reason back.

Most embarrassingly, there are women who feel downright offended when men hold the door open for them, as though such a courtesy were an insult to their capacity as empowered persons. But at the same time, other women are offended when men fail to do that same act, because women apparently must expect no less than special treatment from any gentleman. What man wouldn’t be bewildered?

But let’s refocus: That’s not the feminism we are trying to sustain. We are not the girls playing the gender card to get a privileged spot at a Starbucks queue. With apologies to those girls, we have bigger battles than that.

And by “we,” I mean myself and the 120 million girls around the world who had been forced into sexual acts, the 250 million who became child brides, and the more than 133 million who went through female genital mutilation. Add to that the women who couldn’t earn as much as men even with the same career credentials. And the one-in-seven Filipino wives who have had to suffer physical violence in the hands of their husbands.

We’re still here, fighting the old fight.

There are also countless of us who may not have been subjected to those horrors but still fear for our safety whenever we walk home and hear a man catcalling from a dark street corner. Those of us who have had to squeeze through a sidewalk blocked by male bystanders who make no effort to conceal their stares. Those of us who spent sleepless nights knowing a close friend was in the hospital after fighting off a knife-wielding man with rape in his mind.

The statistics do not report about us, but we’re here, too.

We do not support the pettiness and double standards that many people now confuse for feminism. The word gets thrown around so much, it gets lost in the noise. God knows even authentic feminists cannot agree on what “feminist” exactly means. But we know that we need to continue advocating for women, particularly concerning the issues that cause real and profound suffering to the members of this gender.

Some say that trying to achieve gender equality by focusing on only one of the genders is self-defeating. But that argument is likely grounded on the most literal meaning of equality—sameness—which isn’t what we are calling for.

We acknowledge that men and women are different and in some ways (physiologically, biologically, and so on) definitely unequal.

In this context, however, gender equality means men and women can equally enjoy resources and opportunities. It will not be possible until there is gender equity—that is, when the many social and historical disadvantages of women are compensated.

We long for a balancing of scales. That we are different and unequal should be all the more reason to work toward a more equitable society.

The Vienna World Conference on Human Rights acknowledged that “the mere fact of [women’s] ‘humanity’ has not been sufficient to guarantee women the protection of their rights.” There are extra vulnerabilities that are particular to this gender.

For instance, UN Women reports that women in urban areas, particularly in developing countries, have twice the chances to experience violence as compared to men. UNAIDS also discusses how women and girls are more vulnerable during economic crises: In these times, they are more likely to be withdrawn from school, are the first to reduce the food and medicine they take, and are more likely to trade sex for survival. The World Health Organization, meanwhile, notes that gender norms contribute to the higher HIV infection rates among young women compared to young men.

In a fair and equitable world, no one should live in fear and be pained more than the other solely on the basis of gender.

But that remains to be an unattained ideal. There are gradual victories—laws passed, unfair practices abolished—and we hope to drive the progress home. That’s why we keep bringing this conversation up, despite the worn battle cry of raising awareness and despite being ignorantly shrugged off as mere whiners and keyboard warriors.

Come to think of it, the persistence of ignorance and apathy on issues concerning women only proves that this fight is far from won. You may think that after the suffragettes, feminism has become nothing more than a Spice-Girls-induced girl-power buzzword. But do get out of that comfortable bubble once in a while. We’re still here.

Hyacinth J. Tagupa, 24, is a freelance writer based in Cagayan de Oro.