Single-mom shampoo

Having worked in an ad agency starting in the late 1980s to the early 1990s, I remember when the competitive edge in ad copy was to be able to convince clients of what was better-tasting in food, what was more effective as dirt remover and better-scented in bath or laundry soaps, or which brand of shampoo was a more effective dandruff remover and hair softener. Cost or affordability was also a main selling point. A solid family life, love, honor, respect, honesty, concern, loyalty, responsibility and appreciation among household members, friends and neighbors were the prominent themes in the trimedia ads. Truth in advertising was what we needed to abide by and be most conscious of in our creative conceptualization.

Then suddenly, just recently, one woke up to the reality of single motherhood being promoted! It was with confused dismay that I watched for about 60 seconds this poised and pretty young lady delivering a talking-head, advocacy-type testimonial commercial for a brand of shampoo. Basically, she talked about herself as a single parent, how she had been branded as “landi” (flirt) by some people. But then she went on to brag about the good things being a single mom had done for her, rationalizing how single motherhood had made her learn to accept the challenge, and as a consequence, to feel empowered. That single motherhood is empowering is the advocacy message that comes across so strongly at the end of this commercial about a hair shampoo?!

What is our society coming to? I asked myself. And I started reflecting on this millennium’s developments, like the digital age and social networking, and how these have made the world really global, smaller, almost monocultural. It seems that this has made trending the order of the day. And so I wondered: Is single parenting an accepted trend that has made the advertising agency conceive this kind of commercial?

In the 1970s feminism was born. It was a movement aimed at making women realize their strength not just as childbearers and homemakers but also as planners and decision-makers in the aspects of education, career, work rights, benefits and privileges, and as contributors to sociopolitical life, etc. But this shampoo ad makes me wonder: Is this really an issue toward empowering women these days? How far and how self-centered has feminism gone? Is the Filipino woman still so insecure about her conditions vis-à-vis the male species that she continues to pick at whatever issue that would spell out her strength?

I have worked for many years in and with offices that advocate responsible parenthood, which includes issues such as sex education and sexual responsibility for the youth, premarriage counseling and family planning information/education for young and marriage-age adults, and family planning (contraceptives and natural family planning) for married couples (all of which are encompassed under the recently approved Reproductive Health Law). These continue to be among my main personal advocacies, as I see their necessity and relevance in our country with its unrelenting population growth. We continue to have high birth rates and high rates of maternal and child mortality. Malnourished kids; insecure, abandoned and loveless, rugby-sniffing waifs; uneducated youths without skills to make them useful and self-provident—these are some of the sordid scenes that prick our sensibilities. And it is not presumptuous to think that many of these result from unplanned, irresponsible pregnancies. But surely there’s more the rub when a child is borne by one parent.

Going back to that testimonial ad of the pretty, poised and “empowered” single mom: I grant that her highborn background (she belongs to a rich political clan) and her being a professional model give her the means and capability to care and provide for her child. Presumably, there is a strong mother-child bonding at this stage of the child’s life. And so the lady feels empowered as she is able to raise her child alone, bond with and care for him/her singly. But that’s it. She thinks singly—only for herself. But what about the child? Someday, that child is bound to think and wonder who and where his/her other parent is. Why doesn’t his/her dad come home like other dads? Why is it always Mommy or Yaya who attends his/her school activities, while the other kids have their dads around?

From personal observation, discussions and readings, I have learned of this as a common reality among many children of single or separated parents. There is always their desire to seek or know the other parent and their need for explanations… even in their mature years. I hope that the single-parent advocate in the ad is empowered enough to manage it when the child asks why Daddy is not around. I certainly am making no judgment or condemnation here of the single-parent advocate, only an awareness-setting of certain realities… and unsolicited advice that she and other single parents be prepared for that eventuality.

But what really upsets me and not a few other people who have seen the commercial is the irresponsibility of the ad agency that produced it. The ad makers seemed not to care that the message and the model would be reaching not just single moms like her who belong to her class and are of the same liberated outlook and capability. Surely, a large number of our young TV-viewing population has seen the ad, which is unthinking and dangerously tolerant. What if young, impressionable trend-followers, seeing how this pretty, poised and obviously high-class model confidently articulates her kind of empowerment, also decide to prove themselves empowered, too? Will they just be cool and liberated about their relationships with the opposite sex? Will they experiment at premarital sex? Can they manage it, really—the possible consequence of being empowered single moms?

Knock, knock, ad agencies. And yes, advertisers, too.  Please, please brainstorm seriously on the idea of each ad you will produce. There must be a moral responsibility in every ad created that should guide your target clients to be truly empowered—i.e., mature, strong and responsible in their choices, so that they can really whip it. And your product, too.

Ma. Corazon C. Despabiladeras ([email protected]), 67, has long worked in development communication in the public and private sectors, and was a TV scriptwriter, communications consultant, and editor of youth-oriented publications. She also writes and produces storybooks for children.