What do I need to do?

I’m 25 and unemployed (sort of). That’s a big issue, right? Like Winona Ryder in the movie “Reality Bites,” who said “I was really going to be something at the age of 23,” I believed I was supposed to be something by now.

Depressing. But her line made me think deeper. After graduating from one of the top nursing schools in the Philippines, I told myself I’d get a master’s degree in journalism because I love to write. But I didn’t. By accident, I ended up working in a government office as a member of the administrative staff. I wrote letters, met up with important people from all walks of life, attended meetings of which I initially had no understanding, made presentations, and many other tasks.

It was amazing. I was 20 then, and I thought I was undeserving of all the tasks I was handling, but I learned. I wouldn’t trade that first job for anything. Still, the call to practice my profession became an itch. And so, the year after, I transferred to our local hospital and worked there as a staff nurse for two years. In my second year in the hospital, my old boss phoned and told me about a termed project he had suddenly thought of. Loving my work then, I helped with the details and we started.

Once a week, we would go to the community to conduct an information drive and a medical-dental mission. It was super. I was able to use my knowledge in nursing and utilize my office skills. For all my work then, my salary was meager. It amounted to a subsistence allowance, but it was nothing compared to the joy I found doing the tasks that helped people.

The next year, I decided to enter medical school because three of my best friends had already done so. I dropped out after one week, for complicated reasons. Maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t really meant for it. But time was running. With another best friend, April, also a nurse, I decided to enroll in a massage therapy course offered by Tesda and RIAM; it was something we thought we could use in case we go abroad. At the same time, I continued the community work with my old boss. Because I had stopped working in the hospital, he decided to take me in again as office staff.

The May 2013 elections came. All casual employees had to resign en masse because our payrolls depended on the incumbent public officials and their ongoing projects. The majority of them lost in the local elections, so our project had to stop, too.

Unemployed again, but with our massage therapy license, April and I decided to put up a massage center in our town. But perhaps our province wasn’t ready. Even into the center’s fourth and fifth month, we had negative income. We sustained it for months until we no longer could. It was sad that our venture failed, but now I realize it was amazing that at 23, I was able to open a spa. I never imagined I’d be able to do that. For me, that failure was a success. It proved I could do things more than I think I can.

This is me now. Thanks to the web, I never run out of a job. Since January, I’ve worked as a freelance health writer in two websites, something that I like to do. However, time is catching up on me—or that was my perception until now.

At the age of 25, I should be something. But maybe I am. Not in a big-label kind of way, but in the many little things that I have experienced. I have become more independent-minded, and socially and environmentally aware. My eyes used to be closed to everything else but myself, but now they are open to reality. I never used to listen to people I wasn’t interested in, but now I have realized how I’d be missing a lot if I don’t. Every person has a story to tell and certainly, one cannot judge another without knowing him or her.

I used to be trapped in a closed mind. But I have since realized that it’s time to level up on maturity and maximize life. Everything in front of me is dazzling and brimming with opportunity. It just depends on how I look at each one.

My mother, for example, is always feeling ill. Mean as it may sound, it’s an opportunity—an opportunity to serve a woman who has sacrificed much for me, with a lot of time on my hands. My five brothers are still in school and, except for one, live at home. That in itself is also an opportunity—an opportunity to bond more with them (I was never a good sister back in high school and college because I was always away physically or mentally). I also have the opportunity to help the environment by planting. That may sound petty, but other things are even more. All these are big opportunities that many people miss in this modern age. There is money to be found everywhere, but there’s simply no time to spend with the most important people.

I think that in our 20s, we are hammered by the idea of chasing after work like maniacs, afraid of getting left behind by our peers. But who defines how to live successfully? Who defines how to live right? Not society. Something deeper must be achieved for life to be truly meaningful. And that is the understanding of what is truly important.

What the earth needs is a major mindset check. Is getting a high-paying job really the ultimate goal of existence? Our 20s will pass. But what should be the best accomplishment there? It’s wisdom. When else should we sink and think? In midlife?

So, if you are in the same situation as I am, find work, but if it doesn’t come easy, do not limit your mind to what you can do (or what you think you can do). When I find work, I want it to be the kind that’s for life and involves helping people directly. The world is dazzling and brimming with opportunity. Being employed by some big-shot company is not all there is. In fact, it’s just one of dozens this life has in store.

Pauline Dominique C. Tarrazona, 25, describes herself as “a nurse by profession with a passion for words and nature.” She says she “simply wants to make a dent in the world.”