On death and dying

The story is told about family members who were preparing for the burial of their loved one and were perturbed when the lector said: “Let us pray for the INTERNAL rest of our brother and for the REFUSE of his soul.” It did not help any when the priest, in his homily, using the analogy of the peanut to explain death, pointed at the coffin and said: “Brothers and sisters, what we see here is just the SHELL. The NUT is gone!”

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In today’s Gospel (Jn. 11, 1-45), Jesus was perturbed at the death of His friend Lazarus, and so were Martha and Mary, the sisters of Lazarus whom Jesus loved. Death is something that is beyond us, and that truly disturbs and shakes us. But no matter how meaningless and how painful death is, we can accept it because of our belief in the Resurrection.

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Death does bring forth fruits and new life. Since my mother died last Jan. 25, I have made a firm personal decision to be able to go back to heaven, and meet her and my other loved ones again, someday. Sooner or later, we all will die. But thanks to the Resurrection, we will not die in vain. Neither the grave nor the tomb will be our end. Indeed, Lent reminds us that it does not profit us to gain the whole world and in the end lose our soul.

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I firmly believe that death is not the end.  The closest encounter I had that showed death is not the end was when I blessed an unconscious man who was involved in a motorcycle accident near the Guadalupe bridge in Makati. I anointed him with the holy oil (always in my car) and told him (almost in a shout) to repent and trust in the Lord. All of a sudden, the man opened his eyes and said to my face: “Father Orbos? The one in the TV Mass?” Imagine my shock, and then my delight that he was alive—and he even knew me! My prayer is that after we close our eyes in death, we will open them again and see our God who knows us, and loves us!

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Death is something we can never comprehend. It is a mystery, and a mystery can only be understood through faith. I am reminded of a story about a missionary who was called to bless the remains of the village chief. When he came to the coffin, he was surprised to see that the corpse was wearing sunglasses! When he asked the family members why, they responded: “Father, you taught us in the catechism that the beatific vision will be a moment with bright lights, so our father instructed us to put his sunglasses on him after his death to make sure that he will see God!”

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Jesus wept at the death of Lazarus. Death is always a very personal experience, and a relational experience. We Filipinos make sure that our dead are revered, their bodies accompanied during the wake, and never forgotten because of our faith in the Resurrection. Think about it: How many people will come to pay their last respects when you die? How many people will care at all? The goodness you have shown will come back to you in life, and in death. Beyond popularity and power, love will be the main factor for the presence of people in our wake and burial.

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My prayer now is:  Lord, may my life be Thine, may my exit be kind, and may eternity be mine, through Your mercy divine! Amen!

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Three months after Mama’s passing, I still get misty-eyed when I meet people, very simple people, who tell me how much they miss Mama, and how much she loved them and helped them. I cannot help but be overwhelmed by their sincere stories of love and appreciation for someone who really cared for them, and really helped them. The death of a loved one should remind us to love more, and to journey on to God’s heart.

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During this season of Lent, especially in the Holy Week, let us ask the Lord to revive whatever has “died” in us. Perhaps there are some good qualities and good habits that we have set aside or forgotten. Perhaps these are some relationships that we should mend or strengthen. Yes, let us ask the Lord to raise us up and set us free from our tombs and prisons.

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Let us also pray that the Lord will rise up in our midst a new breed of leaders who really have the common good in their heart and mind. Enough of greedy and corrupt government officials and leaders! May the Lord heal our land!

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Inviting you to our Palm Sunday Family Recollection at the Meralco Theatre on April 13, organized by the Mission Angels, from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. Seats are limited. Come early.  It will be broadcast over PTV 4.