Zombies

IT’S OFFICIAL now: zombies do pose an imminent threat. This warning comes from no less than Dr. Ali Khan, the US assistant surgeon general (more or less the equivalent of our undersecretary of health). Khan first posted the warning on May 16 in his blog, together with guidelines on what to prepare in the event of an outbreak of zombies. The warning and guidelines have since been re-posted by the US Centers for Disease Prevention and Control (US CDC) in its own website.

In popular folklore, zombies are also known as the living dead—people who, after being presumed to be dead, are “re-animated.” The first reports of such zombie-like creatures date back many years ago to Haiti, and later to New Orleans, where these living dead were associated with voodoo. Someone placed under a voodoo spell would “die,” with all vital signs coming to an end. Or so it seemed. The victim would be buried but would come alive again. Those who could struggle and make their way out of the grave would then return to their homes and communities.

These voodoo victims in tales were transformed, in American society, into zombies. But unlike the original Haitian creatures, zombies are not victims of voodoo. They are, simply, the living dead, who go around eating human flesh to stay alive. Eventually, Harvard psychiatrist Steven Schlozman published a medical paper suggesting that the zombies are actually victims of a viral infection, and labeled the condition Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome, which means the virus attacks the nervous system, the brain in particular, which accounts for the ataxia, which is an unsteady gait, as you see in the way the zombies move. Presumably, the brain damage also causes the zombies’ ghoulish behavior, including cannibalism.

The CDC now has emergency preparedness guidelines in case of a “zombie apocalypse,” which would happen if the infection spreads and large numbers of zombies begin to roam around attacking humans. The goal is to keep alive for a few days while you search for a zombie-free refugee center.

Okay, before you panic let me clarify now: all this was one big practical joke, with a purpose, spread by the US CDC. This agency is usually quite staid and proper, issuing bulletins with dry statistics about disease outbreaks, often rather limited and therefore escaping public attention or concern. This one about zombies, picked up by newspapers all across the United States, was different though, showing that even epidemiologists—the people who process disease statistics—have a sense of humor and that this can translate into more effective public relations and health education.

Zombies are to Americans what the aswang is to Filipinos. The zombies are deeply embedded in popular culture, thanks in large part to Hollywood, which has made several films about invasions by zombies looking for brains. The films had titles like “Resident Evil” and “Night of the Living Dead,” which had the fictitious Dr. Schlozman and his theory about a viral infection. (The name of the medical “syndrome” is itself a spoof, combining “satiety,” which means satisfaction, with “deficiency.”)

The US CDC’s point is to show that the principles of zombie preparedness are quite generic and can apply to any disaster. Which is why I thought I’d feature the zombies, as a way to tip you off on tackling “Chedeng” and other typhoons yet to come.

I’m glad that there seems to have been more preparations this time around for “Chedeng,” learning from our lack of preparations for “Ondoy” two years ago. As early as Wednesday for example, giant billboards all along Edsa had been taken down—actually a relief to me and to many other commuters and motorists more because they can be such eyesores, such that without them, Edsa looks so much better.

Vital supplies

Billboards aside, newspapers, radio and television have been drumming up the warnings, creating a real sense of urgency. But still sorely lacking are suggestions on what households can do. Let’s see how the zombie preparedness guidelines can help us through “Chedeng.” The most important part of the guidelines is a list of what you should have in times of disasters. I’m giving the items from CDC with some modifications and comments.

1. Water. The US CDC suggests one gallon, which is about four liters per person, per day. That’s actually a lot, to include water for personal hygiene. I suspect we Filipinos, thanks to the tabo (which I wrote about last Wednesday), can survive on less, maybe about three liters.

2. Food. The US CDC suggests non-perishable items that you eat regularly.

3. Medications, especially those you need for chronic conditions like high blood pressure and diabetes.

4. Tools and supplies. The US CDC specifically names: utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio. I would put cellphones and emergency chargers (using batteries rather than electricity) up there on this list of life-saving supplies.

5. Sanitation and hygiene. The US CDC enumerates household bleach, soap, towels.

6. Clothing and bedding.

7. Important documents. I didn’t think about this but, yes, I would think you should give special attention to documents like your passport, birth certificate, driver’s license, and have them in waterproof containers. I’ve seen several stores now offering waterproof pouches for cellphones and iPads, which would work well too for your vital documents.

8. First Aid supplies. I love the CDC quip here: “Although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane.” Seriously, do have povidone-iodine and band-aids on hand.

The US CDC then goes on to suggest that you have a zombie (Chedeng) plan worked out with the family: who to call in case of an emergency (including our famous “missed calls” to let relatives know you’re OK, but without spending precious load), where to go to, and how to get there, including alternative routes. I liked the CDC’s suggestion about deciding on a place where the family can regroup, in case you get separated during evacuation. Children, in particular, should know where to go to in case they are caught in an emergency without parents or guardians.

A discussion with families, friends and neighbors could yield additional supplies you might want to have on hand, or to share, as well as emergency measures to take. We saw so many Good Samaritans during Ondoy, neighbors opening their homes (and roof decks) to people fleeing the floods.

For more details, and some zombie entertainment, visit this site: https://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_ blog.asp

Do it now, while you still have electricity! And let me reiterate again, zombies don’t exist. It was all a rather innovative, and effective, way of doing emergency preparedness education.

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Email: mtan@inquirer.com.ph