To be accountable to the responsibilities and obligations of having a child may be everyone’s greatest fear. And becoming a mother at an early age will surely not be on every girl’s wish list because it can just snuff out dreams. However, life has its own way of throwing balls on our court. It’s a fact that there are circumstances beyond our control, but how we will react is always our call.
According to John Maxwell, “life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond to it.” It’s just like being a single mother. You become one not only by circumstance but also by personal choice and complex decisions.
Being a single mother requires a great amount of faith because the journey will never be a walk in a park. It seems like a no-brainer task, yet it requires much common sense and a daily dose of wisdom.
People tend to misinterpret your actions. They will put another persona in you and ridicule you for having a child out of wedlock. They will act as a critic and put you in the limelight of shame. And the worst, they will use a yardstick (not always accurate) to measure how well you are raising your child to be considered a good mother.
You are made to think that the world is so rigidly structured, that it is only for those who belong to a “complete” family—a mother, a father, children. And at night, when you’re alone, everything hits you harder.
It is true that it is quite liberating to play the role of a single mom, especially when you work outside the comforts of your home. But you yearn for a good-paying job while you try to make ends meet and chase after your dreams, with fear and grief haunting you. It takes a lot of determination to get through the things that drag you down to the pit of loneliness. It is so heartbreaking to try to fight back the tears at those times when you feel like rushing home to hug and kiss your little one. It’s true: Your little angel is the only one who can take your sadness away.
Yes, everything in this world has its drawbacks, and the journey through single motherhood is like a roller-coaster ride: Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. And sometimes you just catch yourself turning around with no exact direction. But it can give you fun and excitement, and most of all, the opportunity to make the most of your freedom. Fear and doubt may sometimes get in the way, but the good thing is, you can freely make your decisions according to your own timeline.
So come on, tell me. It’s so cool, isn’t it? You hope that someday, through your hard work and unbeatable determination, your dreams will come to life. That you will be walking hand in hand with your little one while all the guys around are swooning because you are one hot mama! That you will travel around the world, buy yourself a house, a car, a spaceship… And what’s next? Marry an alien, probably!
Shunie Pearl C. Dela Cruz, 24, is a business development officer in Cebu City.