Want to get rid of school bullies? Start at home

This is a reaction to the Youngblood article “Schadenfreude” (Opinion, Inquirer, 4/11/13) and the editorial “Battling bullies” (Opinion, Inquirer, 1/26/13). To an extent, I did experience bullying during my otherwise enjoyable student days years ago. But thankfully, my experiences came few and far between and were not as awful as those endured by some of my classmates.

In Grade 5, one of my classmates was frequently subjected to ridicule, indignities, meanness, verbal abuse, etc. I forgot how he came to be the class bullies’ unfortunate target. But I remember how his life became miserable. Looking back, I am glad that he left for another school after Grade 6. His situation would have most likely worsened had he remained there in high school.

I also cannot forget what happened to me in fourth year high school during a Citizens’ Army Training assembly. As I was lining up in the front row with the other military police (MPs), one of the three guys behind me pounded my helmeted head really hard with his hand. This made the other MPs laugh. With extreme but controlled anger, I turned around only to see the three guys behind me wearing innocent expressions. Not knowing who did it, I could only let it pass. Gritting my teeth, I told myself that if it happened again, I’d strike back. When the next hard thud on my head came a few moments later, I turned around and with my left hand, pounded the head of the very tall guy directly behind me.

Now here’s the thing: He was not the one who struck me! So, of course, he was fuming mad and started to attack me despite my profuse apologies and even as the other guys tried to stop him. He also pounded my head. I just accepted the blow as I thought by then that I deserved it for my huge mistake. But what I could really not accept was the first instance I was physically assaulted—without any provocation at all. I felt that my dignity was stepped on and spat at. I felt so crushed.

As a teacher now recalling such incidents, I sometimes try to rationalize everything (“it’s just a phase…”) so as to be amused or humored and ultimately be a sport and forgiving. Others consider bullying as a most natural part of school life. Still, I am bothered that young people do get away with this cruel behavior, robbing others of a happy childhood—free of over-wariness, fear, intimidation, torment, pain, and even loss of self-esteem. Add the fact that a bullied student will most likely hesitate to bring this up to his/her teacher or parents for fear of retaliation or out of embarrassment that he/she is unable to defend and stand up for himself/herself.

To eradicate bullying would be a challenge as bullies are not born but bred. And breeding of good and kind human beings should ideally start at home. Learning to be kind and respectful of others’ inherent dignity as a human being is therefore a school crusade on value formation that must be taught starting with the very young and should be reinforced as they grow up.

—CLAUDE LUCAS C. DESPABILADERAS,

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