Apology from the grave

I am Osama bin Laden, and I am sorry.

I am sorry for all the inhuman acts I committed in my lifetime. To all the families to whom I have caused great and indescribable sorrow, I apologize. I hope that my death will make them forgive me, diminish their sorrow and help them move on with their lives.

My death was unexpected although many of you wanted it for a long time.  I was living comfortably in a secure villa in Abbottabad, Pakistan, when suddenly gunshots rang out. When I opened my door, I came upon this soldier holding a high-powered rifle. What came next I cannot remember very well.

All I seek is understanding. We all have causes that we fight for in our lives. Many people have died for love. Some killed themselves when their businesses went kaput. Parents will do anything to protect their children. Journalists get killed in war zones. Activists brave the policemen and sometimes tear gas just to make government lend an ear to their grievances. Environmentalists get kidnapped or murdered in the jungles they are trying to protect. I know you will cringe and spit in disgust when I say this, but I think I was like them.

I was like them because I was fighting for a cause I strongly believed in. I believed in patriotism and religious fundamentalism. The only problem with that was that thousands perished as I strived to achieve this goal. I know it was bad and again, I am sorry.

I feel betrayed. I thought the United States was a friend. In fact, I helped their military drive the Soviet forces out of Afghanistan. In retaliation, that big country disappointed me by interfering in matters it knows nothing about. The Gulf War was a war among our kind and it should have been settled by our kind too. Intruders had no right to interfere there.

But it is too late for regrets now. My hatred against that country is too strong to explain. I have only one observation that I have long wanted to make. The world is much too biased. Whatever that country does, other countries follow. No one listens to the other party involved. They fight without knowing why they are fighting and what they are fighting for. It is as if they are afraid to lose the friendship and trust of the “most powerful country in the world.” Are they afraid that that country might stop giving them assistance?

The hatred grew when I was stripped of my citizenship in the country that I called home. I was forced to spend my life in hiding. I felt like a son thrown out of his house due to a mistake. My mistake was that I criticized my country due to its support for the United States. I was forced to swallow my pride and go to other countries in search of understanding and support. That was where my friends and I hatched the plots that shook the world and changed history forever.

If the world is more just, then I think it would not have happened. If the world had listened to our small ragtag group, if the world did not take us lightly because of our looks and our religion, if there was no superpower aspiring to control the whole world, then there would have been justice and peace.

But it’s too late now. I have done my worst. People have died. Buildings have collapsed. Embassies have been blown up. And I have departed from this world.

But no one can say there will be peace because I am dead. My followers are still around. They will either continue what I started or give up. I cannot influence them now, but I hope  they will do the right thing.

Again, I am sorry. This apology may have come too late. I may not deserve the attention you are giving me, but while I apologize I will never regret what I have done.

Again, I am sorry.

Christian John Villahermosa, 18, is a 2nd year Bachelor of Medical Laboratory Science student in San Pedro College, Davao City.