If God had Twitter

Have you ever had days when you wonder if God, who possesses infinite wisdom, power and goodness, is in actuality that man retailing cups of delectable taho in the street, or that pedicab driver with passengers drifting by, or perhaps that guy in front of you in a queue at a lotto outlet, just like you in desiring to win the multimillion-peso jackpot? Or if God is that woman sitting next to you in the crowded computer café, opening her Facebook account with much anticipation?

Have you ever asked yourself: What if God had a Twitter account?

If God had Twitter, He would have millions of followers. Not because He is as controversial as that pop icon who wears bubbles or raw meat, or as popular as that teen idol with serious hair issues, but because He is a leader. Any good leader would have a follower of his own. Heck, even Jim “Flavor-Ade” Jones had a few too many of his own.

If God had Twitter, He would tweet every second. It is not because He is that pesky or that exasperating but because He would want us to always recall that He is there. He is not just a figment of a fanatic’s fantasies, a stray wind, or an accident. He exists.

If God had Twitter, He would sync his account to Instagram. Not for the reason that He wants to grab every bit of flattery, praise or sweet talk, but because He has discerned that some folks would believe if they visualize. He understands that some people have that as their mantra in life.

If God had Twitter, He would trend. Not necessarily because people talk about Him but because people talk against Him. He would totally take it in stride because He understands that to be recognized and to be loved in the future, a hefty amount of hate has to be thrown at your backyard. Rebecca Black, Snooki and the Kardashians taught Him that. Yes, it puzzles Him that we love to discourse on the people we despise, but even in His omnipotent state, He knows not to mess with our free will.

If God had Twitter, he would be retweeted as much as the person posing as Lord Voldemort, that guy with a username of Mister Banatero, and that account that always hashtags the words #DamnItsTrue. God would be retweeted because one follower would retweet Him and the rest will follow. God would be astonished by our offbeat ways, but being the eternal optimist, He would see it as sharing and spreading His words, so He would not mind.

If God had Twitter, He would totally connect it to His Facebook. He may not like it (yes, pun intended), but He knows, being as omniscient as He is, that the number of likes on your wall is the modern way of having a faithful disciple.

If God had Twitter, He would retweet all our asinine and TMI tweets. He would do that because even if some of our tweets are either vain, a drag or nonsensical, He grasps that our tweets that endlessly recount what we ate, where we went, what we did, etc. are part of being who we are. God accepts that. He accepts us.

If God had Twitter, He would have a bevy of His own haters. It’s not because He is loathsome but because some people misconstrue His words. As people would say, it’s not personal, it’s just social networking.

If God had Twitter, He would tweet me right now and tell me to stop writing. He would tell me that no way would He ever expose Himself that way. Besides, God has His own way of communication. It doesn’t have a fail whale, it never gets hacked, and you won’t ever need Internet connection to use it.

Madonna P. Zamoranos, 28, is a freelance blogger.

Too much

By Alvin F. Patal

CONSIDER THE opportune moments people experience when using the Internet. They look at, discover, read, and understand the many reasons they clicked on something in the World Wide Web.

We are in an era of information overload where facts, news, and knowledge-based ideas are so available that human sensory tools can barely contain what is perceived. This phenomenon was duly noted by the writer and futurist Alvin Toffler.

“Information overload” was a term popularized by Toffler in his best-selling 1970 book “Future Shock.” It refers to “the difficulty a person can have understanding an issue and making decisions that can be caused by the presence of too much information.”

It is not his name that matters (it being identical to mine) but the idea of how too much information may affect everyone, especially the youth. In this epoch of the computer dynasty, keys are given to people, geeks or not, to unlock the possibilities under Facebook, Twitter, Google or Yahoo. Effortlessly, Internet surfers take hold of vital or trivial ideas on just about anyone or anything.

Though seemingly important, this “too much” is quite risky if not used responsibly. Who knows what may result from information overload? I am not a professional psychologist but I believe that it is necessary for people to be sensitive to their priorities in terms of information acquisition, which may affect their personal lives.

Why do I say this? Because what can be an agent of intellectual development may go the wrong way and prove destructive. Curiosity is often the main reason we are blinded by information that seems important but may only lead to the overloading of useless data.

When we click on Facebook, we see status updates, links to various articles/posts, laughable and silly pictures, overdramatic love messages… We consume all in a click. But would these make an essential change in us?

“The future arrives too soon and in the wrong order,” Toffler wrote. We are spoon-fed information by the Internet and by technology. In this kaleidoscopic phase of data acquisition, Web-based humankind will never be a victim of ignorance. The ways and means are in our hands. We just have to be sure that “too much” will not become “too bad.”

Alvin F. Patal, 22, is a secondary education graduate of St. Anne College of the Pacific and a part-time radio jock at Love Radio Lucena.