‘Pasensya,’ ‘lalake’

Today I’m giving you a 3-in-1 column, all somewhat related to language use. I will take off from the column I did last week about how “sorry” has been trivialized in the Philippines and extend the discussion to “pasensiya.”  I will also tackle the Tulfo-Santiago fracas at the airport to talk about the tongue-twisting language of Tagalog masculinity.

But first a plug, still related to anthropology and linguistics. There’s a National Conference on the Ethnic Chinese as Filipinos (Special Focus on Mindanao) this weekend organized by the Philippine Association for Chinese Studies, Ateneo de Davao University and Kaisa para sa Kaunlaran. The conference starts at 9 a.m. Saturday at Ateneo de Davao with a paper from Teresita Ang See of Kaisa on how the Chinese have evolved from the hua shang (itinerant traders) to the Chinese-Filipinos of today. This will be followed by a paper on the Chinese in Tawi-Tawi, Sulu and Butuan (Aurora Roxas Lim) and three papers on the Chinese in Davao by Ricky Jose (focus on the Japanese occupation), Heidi Gloria and Lualhati Abreu.

Particularly interesting are papers on PH-China relations, notably one on China’s soft power (Reynard Hing), and one on China’s overseas development assistance (Lim).  I would have wanted to attend the entire conference but can go only on Sunday, when I will deliver a paper on “Lannang Oe,” a variation of the Minnan Chinese language that evolved with local ethnic Chinese.  The conference ends on Sunday with a panel discussion on the exploration of future topics for research related to the Chinese in Mindanao, with National Commission on Culture and the Arts chair Felipe de Leon Jr. in attendance. For details, call Kaisa at 526-6796 or Richie Santos at 426-6001 loc. 5208, 5209.

‘Sensya’

The idea for today’s column came even before the Tulfo-Santiago altercation. Last weekend, my driver came to me in distress, recounting how, early Saturday morning, he had to rush to a slum area in West Crame because his younger brother, a teenager, had been beaten up. The brother had gone there around midnight to pick up his sister from a party. He happened to pass by a group of four young men who were drinking and without any provocation, the gang ganged up on him, beating him to a pulp.

The police and barangay officials later speculated that the victim was new to the area and that was reason enough to be beaten up. It all ties up with local notions of masculinities, which I will come back to shortly.

Relatives of the four hoodlums—who have gone into hiding—have been asking for “areglo” (out-of-court settlement) and “pasensiya,” which is derived from the Spanish word paciencia, (meaning “patience”).  After I wrote about “sorry” last week, two readers wrote in observing that “pasensiya na” is used often in the Philippines as a substitute for “sorry.”  Both didn’t like the term, feeling it was too weak.

I did some research around the term and am realizing that perhaps “pasensiya na” has a different use from “sorry.”  The Spanish “paciencia,” it turns out, is never used as an apology, at least in all the entries I found in the Collins’ Spanish Electronic Dictionary. The entries define paciencia mainly as patience and endurance. One entry refers to “slowness” and another one is: “exhortatory exclamation to have patience.”

Imagine the Spaniards, especially the friars, using the term to scold the natives, the indios, as well as to express exasperation. Two entries in the Collins’ dictionary fit perfectly to illustrate the kind of exchanges that may have happened: “¡Paciencia, que todo se arreglará!”  (Be patient, it’ll all get sorted out!) and “¡Qué paciencia hay que tener contigo!” (Loose translation from Collins: You’d try the patience of a saint!)

How would the indios have responded when berated? Facing an authority figure, what could they do but to appeal? It could not be a long sentence trying to explain one’s situation but a quick “Paciencia,” begging for patience and apologizing for whatever lapses or shortcomings that might have come about, the word eventually turning into “pasensiya” and, lately, “sensya.”

Language is marked by class. Perhaps when a Filipino says “pasensiya,” the implicit message is “Who am I to say sorry? All I can ask is for your patience and understanding.” I’m wondering now if perhaps for Filipinos, especially for men, it might actually be easier to say “I’m sorry” than “Pasensiya na,” with the latter suggesting one is in a subordinate position.

What’s important, whether with “sorry” or “pasensiya,” is to get people, especially children and younger adults, to understand the need to walk the talk. In the context of the West Crame incident, “pasensiya” or “sorry” is not enough. Produce the four culprits first, my driver is saying, then we’ll talk again.

Machismo

Like the Crame beating, the one at the airport has a strong undercurrent of machismo gone awry. There’s a Tagalog term that captures this testosterone-driven machismo: nakakalalake. The term is uttered in anger by a man who feels an intrusion into his territory, or disrespect (a look, certain actions) for his girlfriend or wife. It’s hard to predict what might be interpreted as provocation. Taking out a camera to video someone’s wife or girlfriend, especially if you’re a known journalist, as in the case of Mon Tulfo, might also be seen as kabastusan (disrespect).

The response from a Filipino macho male is to confront the offender: “Nakakalalake ka na!” (“You’re violating my pagkalalake [masculinity], and you’re going to pay for this”)

Non-Tagalog speakers know how treacherous Tagalog can be with its prefixes. Nakakalalake is completely different from nanlalalake, the latter referring to searching for or having male sexual partners. Note that both nakakalalake and nanlalalake have negative meanings: A gay man who is nanlalalake, picking up men, could be perceived too as nakakalalake and get mauled. And to use nanlalalake to describe a woman is to say she is an adulterer, promiscuous, or both.

There’s much more, of course, to the Tulfo-Santiago incident: Tulfo’s sense of entitlement (a journalist’s right to photograph public figures), the Santiagos’ sense of entitlement over privacy, the Santiagos’ sense of entitlement over luggage, Claudine Barretto’s tongue-lashing of ground crew, the aggravations that come with flying on the cheap—and the superstitious might want to blame the supermoon driving men to lunacy. Whatever, in the weeks to come, I don’t expect to hear too many “sorry” or “pasensiya” around this case, given the way masculinities, machismo and male pride will play out.

Perhaps it’s time to make another radical proposition: The true test of masculinity in the sense of fortitude (astig!) should come with finding ways to say “I’m sorry” or “Pasensiya na lang” in a way that is truly remorseful, truly repentant.