I will not graduate on time—not because I failed my subjects, but because I failed to listen to my younger self.
As graduation season nears, photos of my friends wearing togas are starting to appear on my social media feed. The day that most of my batchmates in the university are waiting for is the day that I have also been preparing for—not because I will march with them, but to keep myself from doubt and to be reminded of my achievements despite not having that degree yet.
I entered college in 2022, which means I am expected to graduate this year. I found my freshman self at the University of the Philippines Visayas (UPV), studying fisheries and ocean sciences. Never in my life have I imagined myself doing fieldwork near the beach and dissecting fish in the laboratory. Honestly, I knew nothing about fisheries before college.
UP was a dream, but I did not pass the admission screening—UPCA without T (test) during our time. That did not stop me. I appealed for reconsideration multiple times, but with a catch: I had to appeal for a science-related degree program because I was granted a DOST-SEI (Department of Science and Technology-Science Education Institute) scholarship. At the time, my family was struggling financially, and my parents were worried about how they could support my studies. So I needed the scholarship to continue my education. Fortunately, UPV opened an opportunity for me.
Staying in Visayas was my first time being miles away from my family. But my freshman year was a blast. I met new friends who shared the same struggles. I was introduced to a warm community that welcomed me completely. Ultimately, I found a home away from home.
But I felt that something was not right. I was not happy with my studies—the very reason why I flew to Iloilo. I had barely passed and even failed most of my major exams. I had difficulties catching up with our laboratory classes. I was not performing well in my academics. Impostor syndrome dominated my confidence.
I have always wanted to excel in my craft. I knew I could do better—but not in this field.
I was a STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) student in senior high school, but I really wanted to pursue a different path even before. I want to be a journalist. But where can I find scholarship opportunities for the social sciences field?
After a year of choosing practicality over passion, I made a decision that completely changed my college journey. I transferred to UP Los Baños (UPLB) to pursue a degree in development communication.
It was not an easy decision. I literally started from scratch—new campus, new people, new life. I also needed to accept the fact that most of the academic units I had taken from my previous degree program were not credited, delaying me from my original date of graduation. Adding to this was the financial burden my family had to carry for the next few years of my stay in college because my scholarship was terminated.
Transferring meant delays, and I knew it since day one. There were moments when I questioned myself: Was I wasting time? Was passion enough to justify the cost?
But I did not regret that decision.
As I pursue my passion at UPLB, I found something I had been missing all along—clarity and fulfillment. Now, the lessons that I am studying resonate with me. I find myself more engaged in classes and more motivated to improve. I excel in my outputs, even topping exams. Finally, no more self-doubt.
I have come to realize that growth does not always follow a straight path. Sometimes, it requires detours that look like delays from the outside but are necessary redirections from within.
Nevertheless, I wish that students would not need to pursue practicality over passion anymore in the future. I hope that more opportunities will be given to the social sciences field so they can choose what they really want without hesitation.
As I see my batchmates preparing for their graduation, I cannot deny that a part of me feels left behind. But I also know that if I stayed with them, I might have worn that “Sablay” sooner, yet with unending what-ifs waiting to be answered.
I want to tell myself and my fellow delayed “iskolar ng bayan”: Hindi pagsablay ang hindi pa pag-Sablay! Not walking the commencement stage this year does not mean we are less valuable. Not receiving our diplomas on time does not mean we failed.
Being delayed does not erase the courage it took me to choose a different path, nor does it diminish the growth I experienced along the way. I may not graduate on time, but I am exactly where I need and want to be.
And when the time comes for me to wear my own Sablay, I know it will carry not just the weight of a degree, but the story of choosing purpose over pressure, and becoming, finally, the person my younger self always hoped I would be.
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Jayvee Mhar Viloria, 22, is a development communication student at UPLB. He serves as associate managing editor for long-form reporting of their college’s official student publication, Tanglaw.