A little bit more

I paid with a card and waited for the short receipt.

My grocery cart is just halfway full. A switch from the ordinary grocery setting where I take my time watching the receipt get long as the cashier punches items from my full cart. Today, I only picked up some things I wanted because the fridge and shelves were still full the last time I checked. I got some chips and sweets for a nice midnight snack, flour for the cookies I’ll bake later, and LuckyMe pancit canton which I have been craving for the longest time. It just brings back memories.

I slowly walked out of the grocery store holding my eco-bag as I looked for a nearby café. I was thirsty. My legs stepped toward the most promising one. I ordered a usual iced caramel macchiato and found myself peacefully sitting by the window. I reward myself with these little things after a long week of site visits, paperwork, and transactions. An engineer’s life is tiring in all aspects but it’s okay. It has always been worth every drop of blood, sweat, and tears.

I shifted my sight outside and appreciated the busy streets of Baguio City. Different people were walking to different destinations carrying their different burdens motivated by different goals. Then, I saw students carrying T-squares and it made me smile. The engineering field is still a dream ground for a lot of hearts. I wonder how many of them are going through the same situation as my collegian life story. I wish I could tell them that all will be well.

The clouds started to tear up. It was just so sunny a few minutes ago. Oh well, I live in Baguio. The sky got sadder, and I knew I had to head home. The line for taxis is still long; no different from that when I was still an engineering student who couldn’t afford to ride one. Nonetheless, I would still ride a jeepney. I love the trip, and I fancy the small-life realizations I encounter only when I am seated in the jeepney.

“Crossing po!”

The sudden stop of the jeepney awakened me from my long stare outside the window daydreaming of what life can be for me. Would that be possible? I looked down and saw my ID; second year. A few more years to wait.

It was also my stop, so I got down from the jeepney and rushed home. On the way, I stopped by the mini-mart to get myself some stuff that I would be needing for the next few days. My shelves are never full. I have to buy items only enough for a few days and then do it again. I picked up some sachets of 3-in-1 coffee to aid my late-night study sessions, eggs, and noodles to save my stomach from grumbling, and LuckyMe pancit canton which is my tongue’s treasure while studying away from delicious home-cooked meals by mama. I wish I had a little more money so I could also buy oatmeal—a worthy breakfast. A little bit more walking and I reached the panaderia where I could buy cheap yet fulfilling breads to pair with my 3-in-1 coffee.

A little more push and the dean’s list will finally be released by our university. If I find myself on that list, I can perhaps persuade mama to send some money so I can buy iced caramel macchiato as a reward for myself. It is my favorite drink, but I only get to taste it after lines of nine or a dean’s list certificate.

The sun was almost down when I reached our boarding house. I have only a few hours to study my statics of rigid bodies. My grades have to smile this term but I fear they are sad. My laboratory reports are piled up, pleading to be done. Still, I must finish my readings in Philippine history. I am not allowed to get tired.

I dream of slowing down. Yet, it is something that cannot be done now. If I slow down, the world will not slow down for me, and I will entirely be behind. I cannot afford to be behind nor can I afford to leave something behind. My family has high hopes for me back in the province. Their expectations fuel me up.

A little bit more studying so I can wear a toga while the speakers echo my name in our graduation rites.

A little bit more enduring of this college life so I can finally work and earn to live a slow life.

A little bit more of calculating my bill in the grocery store to fit the budget so I can pick up whatever I want from the store shelves and be assured I can pay for everything.

A little bit more of 3-in-1 coffee-aided study sessions so I can buy iced caramel macchiato whenever I crave one.

A little bit more push so I can finally sit down in a café and enjoy. No rushing home. No problem sets to be submitted tomorrow. Finally, succeeding in life.

Josefa Minervina A. Rosete, 19, is a sophomore civil engineering student in Saint Louis University. A dreamer.