‘Sakto lang’

Life has often been described as a journey filled with peaks and valleys, and while this analogy holds true for many, for some of us, the valleys seem endless, and the peaks are just distant dreams.

Growing up, I often heard people say, “Poverty is not a hindrance to education.” While well-intentioned, this phrase oversimplifies a complex reality. It only tells half the story because the truth is, financial struggles can profoundly impact one’s educational journey, adding layers of difficulty that are often invisible to those who haven’t experienced them.

I come from a family that is neither rich nor poor. “Sakto lang,” I always say or at least what I want myself to believe—that we have enough to get by, but not enough to afford luxuries or escape the stress that financial uncertainty brings. Yet, in reality, our situation often falls short of this modest description. I was too shy to accept, but the truth is that we are caught in a precarious balance, navigating a life that is below the standards of “sakto lang.” This “just right” condition has shaped my perspectives and aspirations, especially when it comes to navigating life’s challenges.

In my experience, living a “sakto lang” life means constantly balancing the fine line between stability and struggle. It’s a life where every decision must be weighed carefully, where unexpected expenses can throw off an entire month’s budget, and where dreams often have to be tempered by practicality. This balancing act has taught me the value of resilience and resourcefulness.

I often find myself wishing for a life that matches my condition and the resources I have—a life where the challenges are surmountable, where opportunities are within reach, and where hard work is enough to achieve my goals. This isn’t about wishing for an easy life, but rather one that is fair, where effort and ambition can lead to success without being thwarted by unbeatable barriers.

We live a life that I often describe as “sakto lang”—just enough. We get by, but lately, the tides have turned. Our “sakto lang” existence feels more like a constant struggle.

The dissolution of my guardian’s relationship has thrown our household into turmoil, tightening our financial constraints. Despite these challenges, I am not one to shy away from hard work. I’m not the brightest in my class, but my determination and perseverance are my strengths. Yet, there are times when sheer effort is not enough. Living a “sakto lang” life means constant vigilance and careful management of limited resources. It means making tough choices every day. For me, as a student, it translates into struggling to print my school requirements due to lack of funds and sometimes having to walk home because I cannot afford the fare. The exhaustion from these long walks adds to the already heavy burden of managing school and household chores alone, as I live independently in a boarding house.

The weight of expectations from my siblings, who anticipate my graduation in early 2025, is a constant reminder of my delayed progress. I struggle with several subjects, and some instructors’ stringent standards and lack of consideration exacerbate my stress. Despite giving my best, I often feel it isn’t enough.

These challenges make me question my path. Is this truly where I’m meant to be? Seeing my high school classmates now as professionals while I still grapple with my chosen course stirs feelings of envy and doubt. Half of me wants to give up; I am just too overwhelmed by fatigue and frustration.

Despite these challenges, I do not seek luxury. I simply long for a life that is more than “sakto lang.” I desire a life where walking home is a choice, fueled by fresh air rather than a necessity impelled by empty pockets. I wish for stability, where I can afford basic needs without constant worry. A life where I have the resources to fully engage in my education without the persistent stress of financial constraints.

Living a “sakto lang” life teaches resilience and resourcefulness, but it also imposes limits that stifle potential and growth. I dream of moving beyond these limitations, of experiencing a life where my efforts lead to tangible rewards and where my hard work is not overshadowed by financial struggle. I yearn for a break from the relentless balancing act, for a chance to focus on my studies and personal development without the ever-present fear of not having enough.

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Ian Joseph Angel, 24, is a senior civil engineering student at the National University-Baliwag.