Pride on the other side

Did I have a normal childhood? Did I live a conventional Filipino family life? Or did I just fail to see my own life’s wonders because of other’s seemingly unconventional ones?

This is the other side of the coin.

In the headlines, most stories of misfortunes among members of the LGBTQIA are in the spotlight. A physically abused young member, those who moved out from the comforts of their homes due to the family’s inability to accept them, one who disappeared and settled with others not even related to them, or even roamed the streets, homeless and helpless. The list goes on.

These are common narratives we see on TV, social media, or even in documentaries. As a member of the LGBTQIA community, it is appalling to witness stories of neglect and rejection from co-LGBTQIAs’ loved ones. These stories are helpful because we need to acknowledge these threats and make amends to fully walk with faith that all will fall into its right place—the freedom we so desire.

Ages ago, it was only a hope, an aspiration, a dream to finally break free from the shackles of discrimination. With guts and consistency, we were able to pull it off and slowly championed the battle for our freedom.

In the beginning, we yearned for freedom against an oppressive and condemning society, then we yearned for freedom against incessant violence. Then, we yearned for freedom against all contemporary social issues that plague our community. Then came a spark of hope for change that served their purpose but not for long as they resulted in many abuses. So we yearned for freedom again, urging an entire flock of freedom-thirsty LGBTQIAs. Time and time again, we fought for all sorts of freedom-threatening circumstances as one LGBTQIA community.

Truly, we must live our lives with utmost gratitude to all those who fought silently and extravagantly in the past to liberate the unknown future that we savor in the present.

I mean our present was considered as the future of the past. We continue to fight each day to transform our tomorrows into brighter ones. Certainly, we enjoy the labor of love our fellows had poured out for today’s easier life. However, tables have turned and it is our time to gear up and fight for the challenges that potentially haunt the freedom of tomorrow. We can never be selfish because we have enjoyed the sweet fruits of our fellows’ generosity and selflessness despite the threats it cost them.

Behind all this progress are stories of loving and accepting families who nurtured young LGBTQIAs like normal children.

This is the story I want to tell.

I come from a very Filipino family with close ties and a fair amount of problems like others. I am loved like all the other siblings in the family. I am favored in my choices.

I had a Betty’s trolley bag (an early 2000s Jollibee freebie) that a young boy would not usually own, but I did because that’s what I liked. I had “girlfriends” that my family never made an issue about. I had dolls instead of robots and guns as my toys. I read fairy tales, wore heels and dresses of my older sister, and used a blanket as my self-designed gowns. No one among my family members had a “thing” about these.

When I grew older, I became more immersed in my gender preference but I never heard a thing. Instead, I was given strong support and a fair share of love and care. This sense of security and assurance made me brave enough to stand up and put my best foot forward without fear of judgment and discrimination from others. I knew that whatever happened, my family, the wind beneath my wings, would matter most as I tread the harsh realities of the world.

Every nasty experience from the outside world was mended by my inner circle of confidantes. They always reminded me that they were always there. In the grueling process of acceptance, there are many of us whose identities were never questioned.

This is simply my fitting tribute to my family and other families who accepted and clothed with so much love and respect LGBTQIA members for their choices. They were all brave to shrug off the potential judgment of the bigger community. They have contributed largely to the societal paradigm shift on acceptance for, in the end, the family is the most basic unit of society and will be an important key in mirroring understanding and acceptance on a bigger scale.

This is my story of pride—the unheard, seemingly unremarkable but truly notable other side.

Teofan C. Gallosa, 28, is a proud gay from Negros Oriental, an embracer of life’s greatest offerings, and one with the LGBTQIA community this Pride month.