Hopeful horizons

Welp! It’s already 2024! As I sit within the confines of these four walls while watching passersby along Ayala Avenue, I find myself immersed in the mundane existence of a salaryman. Reflecting on the journey that led me to this point, I can’t help but acknowledge that 2023 was undoubtedly the most challenging year.

Here are some hard-won lessons I learned:

Strive for stability, no matter how long it takes, or how hard it gets.

The post-pandemic era brought about a shift in our wants, needs, and aspirations. Some embraced the nomadic lifestyle, working remotely from various locations. Others focused on securing their future through insurance and investments, while a few simply went with the flow. I found myself in a gray area, caught between jobs. I borrowed from one friend to another, just enough to cover my expenses, until my debts became overwhelming for someone my age. Job offers were retracted last minute, and I struggled to make ends meet. Depression and anxiety became constant companions, day and night, and there were moments when I contemplated giving up on life. But, like all storms, this, too, passed.

Finally, I secured a job at a leading bank. Though I am paying off debts at a slower pace, I can now plan small, local trips with my partner, settle rent and dues, and slowly accumulate capital to start a small business while resuming my insurance policies.

If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, don’t quit. It might be tough, but there’s no shame in leaning on your partner, friends, and family. It’s easier said than done, but trust me, as you begin to see that light at the end of the seemingly endless tunnel, you’ll appreciate life more. Your perspective will shift, and gradually, you’ll achieve emotional, mental, and financial stability. Keep going; the triumphs are worth the trials.

Live one day at a time.

This has been my constant woe ever since I graduated, and over almost a decade, not much has changed. The pressure of being the eldest in my family fueled my greed for quick success: landing a high-paying job, owning a house and a car, and maybe even hitting that first million in my 20s. As someone who’s career-driven and perhaps a bit of a workaholic, I always believed that quickly going up the career ladder at a young age equated to success. At 28, I became the marketing director for a major food and beverage brand, a very significant accomplishment. However, the glory was short-lived, leading me to question, “Am I really successful?” And at what cost? Endless work hours, constant pressure, and a noticeable lack of personal time. While the financial gains were more than substantial, I found myself with less time for my partner, family, and, most importantly, self-care. We spend our lives strangely fixated on so many things; always desiring more. Compared to our short lives, we cause too much change, and we always hurry through life.

We must learn to live one day at a time. Embracing “the now” is where true control resides—the only time that truly belongs to you is this very moment. In doing so, we unlock our power to shape a brighter and more fulfilling future. After all, there is only one time when you have control: right now.

Decisions require time, no matter how big or small.

We’ve all heard the advice from adults when it comes to decision-making: “Pag-isipan mo muna (Think it over).” “Itulog mo muna (Sleep on it).” It’s been a timeless reminder not to rush into decisions impulsively. In my case, I hastily left my directorship due to overwhelming stress. Looking back, it wasn’t the smartest move and left my life in a bit of a mess. The sudden loss of my main source of income triggered a chain of negative events. Feeling pressured to make quick decisions often leads to shortsighted choices. On the flip side, delaying decisions can mean missed opportunities or getting stuck in over-analysis. However, taking the time for deliberate reflection, weighing outcomes, and considering different perspectives can lead to better and more quality decisions in life.

Speak up, now more than ever.

This year, I no longer keep silent whenever people step out of line, regardless of who they are. We’ve been told to not speak up because it is “disrespectful.” Do not let other people put words in your mouth, nor let them dictate what you should do and not do. Remember that the only validation that matters is your own.

Move forward, and move fast.

We’ve always heard the phrase “no use in crying over spilled milk”—that has always stayed true. Life is too short to regret for long the things you’ve done. Focus on what you can control, what you’ve learned, and what you can do better. The ability to move forward fast is something worth cultivating. It can protect your optimism and positivity, and attain inner peace.

Cherish the people around you, especially the ones who stuck with you.

If it weren’t for these people, I would be long gone. I have only one thing to say: keep them forever. May we have a hopeful horizon this year.

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Gerard Anthony Bonaobra, 28, a salaryman in the bank marketing industry who pays too much attention to his OT and sleep time (a minimum of eight hours is a MUST); an aspiring renaissance man.