I never liked it when someone would compliment me as “beauty with brains.”
Growing up, I saw how society was and continues to be, insistent on pitting “beauty” against “brains.” I recall watching with a critical eye as beauty pageant contestants were asked to choose between beauty and brains as if they were mutually exclusive and nonnegotiable ideas. This recurring trope also played out prominently in the coming-of-age novels I’ve encountered, where the stark contrast between the studious, bespectacled bookworms and the effortlessly gorgeous queen bees was glaringly apparent. In this narrative, individuals were often pigeonholed into being either the studious kids engrossed in books or the attractive kids effortlessly mingling with social circles. There was no middle ground or room for a choice that included both.
In time, I came to understand this dichotomy for what it truly was: internalized misogyny. The wince-inducing compliment implied a presumption that beauty and brains were inherently incompatible. It was as though the speaker was saying, “I did not expect you to be smart because you are attractive,” a sentiment that cut deeper than I cared to admit. No woman I knew would relish hearing that her intelligence was a rarity matched only by her beauty. There had to be a better way to acknowledge both without diminishing either. If I wanted to commend a woman’s intelligence, I would do so without tethering it to her appearance. The same held true in reverse; it simply felt discordant, as if I were inadvertently judging them on separate scales until they proved me wrong.
Such compliments are rarely, if ever, directed at men. No one commonly praises a man for having both “handsomeness and brains” or coins the term “brawn and brain” to describe them. Instead, men often receive the highest praise for their achievements and character, with occasional consideration given to their physical appearance. We do not often laud men for their looks paired with their intelligence as if it were a one-in-a-million event. I have also observed a disparity in how parents frequently describe their daughters and wives as beautiful, whereas this is not as commonly applied to sons or husbands. In my personal experience, I often hear the phrase “Here is my beautiful wife,” but it is less common to hear the equivalent “Here is my handsome husband.” It seems as though society places an undue emphasis on a woman’s appearance as the ultimate accolade, rather than valuing her based on her achievements and character, which should be the true measure of her worth.
Society often presents women with a rigid choice, a stark “either-or,” while those who identify as queer frequently encounter a conditional “but” when it comes to societal expectations. This bias, however, is pervasive across all genders and sexes. For instance, it unfairly assumes that attractive women lack intelligence, just as it unfairly stigmatizes men who wear glasses as weak and nerdy. The entrenched stereotype of “jock” athletes further reinforces the misconception that physical prowess and intellectual acumen cannot coexist. On the flip side, concerning queer individuals, it’s common to hear statements like “they’re smart, but they’re gay,” as if their gender is regarded as a drawback or disadvantage.
Perhaps I am an unabashed feminist with a strong sense of self, but navigating life as a woman in a patriarchal society often feels like tackling a Gordian knot. During my school years, many of my male peers dismissed my accomplishments as mere byproducts of my diligent study habits. I was frequently characterized as solely “hardworking,” with little recognition of the intelligence I inherited from my mother (this one’s for you, mama). In contrast, they perceived themselves as inherently gifted but held back by their own laziness and inclination toward typically male interests—games like Dota, Mobile Legends, and Call of Duty. Yes, the adage “talo ng masipag ang matalino” might hold some truth but it is disheartening to witness this sentiment applied to women in a way that seems diminishing. It was almost as if some people harbored resentment at the sight of a woman succeeding. While some may downplay these remarks as harmless banter, I find it impossible not to scrutinize them in the context of history and the hardships endured by the women who came before me.
The journey to women empowerment is anything but straightforward. After all, it is not a walk in the park to redefine what it means to be a woman in this world and challenge the limitations imposed upon us. At this moment, with plenty left to explore and substantial progress yet to be achieved, I wholeheartedly embrace the duality that resides within me. I approach school with the same fervor for eyeliners as I do for pens during exams. My fingers adorned with elegantly shaped long stiletto nails deftly manipulate lines and lines of code and wield scientific calculators with finesse. In doing so, I’ve come to embody both Marie Curie’s scientific rigor and Bella Hadid’s grace. This, of course, does not imply that the former is unattractive or the latter lacks intelligence. After all, emphasizing one’s strengths does not negate the other’s worth. I am beauty. I am brains.
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Erika Lynet V. Salvador, 18, has just completed her senior high school education at De La Salle University Integrated School Manila. She has a passion for two distinct forms of art: writing detailed mathematical solutions on Latex and creating the perfect winged eyeliner.