Remembering them, knowing ourselves

Remembering the dead is not an exclusive Christian practice, it is universal. It appears that the human spirit has an inextricable bond beyond the physical realm, one that defies death as a permanent extinction. Remembering our dead, then, is akin to a celebration. We are grateful that they lived, and more grateful that, through them, we live.

And not only living but doing so in a special context, inside a history with all we know and who know us, all who did but have gone ahead, and all who will until we, too, leave for the next life journey.

In other words, we do not have only life, we have identity, we have life in a continuing story, we know who we are because we know who they are, or who they were. Our identity is part of theirs because our histories are part of one another.

Many parts of history are facts; they are part of the truth. What we may know of others from history may be incomplete, but they are true. They happened, they were witnessed, they were recorded in people’s memories or were documented. History does not belong to a person, it belongs to many, and ultimately to the whole.

History is full of legacies or made up of them. Legacy is more than just of humans, it can be property, money, anything of value, or the long-lasting impact of events and actions that happen in people’s lives. For many of us who look forward to leaving our families with a good legacy, a good history, a good reputation, our actions now will be the human content of how we will be remembered.

The history and legacy of our ancestors helped shape how others regard us, and the same will happen with our children when we have gone. Our behavior and relationships with others and with society become the canvass on which our own lives will be painted. Because history is not ours alone, because history is a web of what has happened, of who had been here.

Because facts and truth have happened, they cannot be changed. They can be added to with new facts and truths, but what had will remain as they were. The total picture, though, can grow. One legacy inevitably connects with related people and events and what they contribute to the present. One cannot change what was, but the context around it expands with continuing life, creating a new and broader story.

Those who are cursed with the dark history of an ancestor or ancestors cannot change the facts and truths already known about them. They cannot also prevent the legacies they inherited from coloring their lives. What they can do, however, and what they should do, in fact, is to counter the dark impact of the past with a brighter present, to add new and beautiful actions and events to neutralize or overwhelm the ugly.

Trying to change the legacy of an unreputable ancestor or ancestors and historical facts surrounding it is a futile and, to my mind, a stupid attempt. That which was dirty and ugly will remain as is but its impact can be mitigated when the past is blended with a better looking present. Focusing on changing what already was will just bring up the whole dirty and ugly unmitigated picture once more.

Remember, history does not belong to only one person, even if it is centered on one life, because history includes the relationship of that one person with others and with society.

In this era of digital information characterized by speed and volume, the temptation to revise history becomes an option especially for those who have enough resources and power if they wish to hide a dark legacy. I wish, instead, and thank goodness that most are ordinary people without many options to revise history, that we in our present lives take the effort to create what will be a good legacy for the next generations. Let us not revise; let us invest in building a good life and great relationships.

The world today is in great need for a cessation of conflicts, a pause to aggression and a search for healing. It is not as though humanity needs more problems than the poverty and hunger that afflicts billions. It is not as though humanity has not already experienced terrible suffering from violence and wars. It is not as though humanity is not already threatened by deadly illnesses and epidemics.

I remember my parents and grandparents. Their generations had witnessed colonial rules and world wars. They tried their best to change the course of history for their future generations, including mine. And all their sacrifices did manifest in a wonderful manner for the generations that followed. We experienced peace. We experienced freedom. We experienced independence. We experienced progress.

In their memory, let us not lose what they sacrificed and worked for. Because we are dishonoring them right now. We are witnessing the nobility of culture cave into rampant corruption. We are experiencing values and virtues surrender to money. We have not continued with vigor and determination to care for our less fortunate.

We are not educating well, neither the mind, nor the soul. Instead, we see a learning poverty phenomenon amid mass education. We are seeing facts distorted, truth disregarded, honesty compromised, and a people less capable to take care of themselves.

There is great wealth and progress but only for a few. There is widespread poverty, hunger and malnutrition, and families must be separated to earn income abroad for lack of opportunities here. Remembering our dead should be to honor them, their legacies, their dreams for us, the nobility of their way of life.

Our blessings are not gone. They are tarnished, they are diminished, but they are renewable, they are upgradeable. They only need to be recognized, nurtured, and valued highly again. Let us do that for ourselves, for the next generations, for our motherland.