Eyes wide open

Kamusta ka?” This question is a favorite form of greeting, given at every chance to people whom I have shared more than just a superficial conversation with and in my case, for patients. At times, the same question gets posted to a resident, fellow, nurse, attendant, colleague, elevator girl, janitor, or security guard, people who have become familiar, seeing them almost on a daily basis.

Ninety-five percent of the time, the reply would be “okay lang po or sakto lang.” This includes children, even those who are gravely ill. Hearing this never fails to make me feel better from whatever it was that might have gone wrong with my day.

“Okay lang po.” From a patient saying that to the doctor, it will always be an immense source of relief. As to the why, simply put, it means your management is on target. From a younger colleague in training, the feeling may not be as intense but close. It means that they are coping well enough to show up for work the next day. In both instances, you get some form of validation that you may be doing something right.

For every exchange no matter how brief, one gets to realize why asking is important. It makes people feel good, particularly for those who feel that they are overlooked. One simple thrill is to witness that instant sparkle in their eyes, that extra spring to their step, and how they suddenly seem to stand taller, most especially if you remember their names. Asking is a form of relaying interest and people will always get to sense if you genuinely care enough to know.

Just last week, I was fortunate enough to be able to do two things. One was to meet in person, a very impressionable young woman whom a sibling had introduced. Second, I was given a chance to reconnect with a mentor whom I have long been meaning to thank.

Both experiences have lingered and for those who just might be under threat of being drowned by negativity which has become a daily unwelcome staple in anyone’s diet, sharing some feel-good stories, hopefully, will be of help in tipping the scale toward feeling a bit more positive.

Thursday night over dinner, after asking how she was, she replied that she was in a better place as compared to a few months back. In a previous conversation, she had talked about wanting to get into the medical profession but after giving it much thought decided to come back to her first love which was marine biology. Looking at her and trying to be singularly focused, it got me thinking if at that age I was just as sure and silently applauded her for having the courage to shift gears. She had been the first one to initiate the meeting and knowing the power of taking a pause but almost always failing to do so, her invite, unknown to her was a welcome reprieve.

Friday lunchtime, the question was, outside of your immediate family, who has been of great influence on your personal growth? I am sure that one who will never fail to come to mind would be a teacher, a strict one at that, or a superior who made sure to keep you on your toes. One never forgets how a mentor plays such a huge role in shaping us into the individuals we aspire to be. John Maxwell known for his books on leadership was right when he differentiated between the words equip and develop. He said, “When you equip people, you teach them to do the job, but when you develop people, you are helping them improve as individuals.” Our two mentors did both.

One of them has long since retired and we were all wanting to see her. Picking up the phone on a Wednesday afternoon on the off chance that she would be home, I got lucky. After asking how she was, she replied that she was okay, doing well, and was missing all of us. Knowing that she was soon to celebrate her birthday, the second question asked was, “When can we see you po?”

Friday was more than a memorable reunion to be safely tucked away in the eventuality that memory begins to fade. We had the chance to catch up, say our thanks, and encase her in a tight embrace, one that we had been longing to give, to convey what words could not. In her usual gracious fashion, she told us how proud she was of how far we all had gone and thankful that we took the time to pay her a visit. Seeing how animated she was and hearing the distinct sound of pure joy, do you still have to wonder why asking someone how she is goes a long way?

So, how are you?

timgim_67@yahoo.com