Age mutters

#Tatandakarin

How do you feel about aging? I floated this question among family and friends aged 55 and above, not merely out of curiosity, but more from having the intention of gathering information that hopefully may be of use to prepare for something that is inevitable. Half-expecting to hear answers that bordered on being cliché which are still of value, as in anything and in everything, the simple exercise was an enriching experience and proof that there will always be a huge amount of space for learning. The sporadic and random conversations that followed turned out to be the highlights of the week, for even if these all started out on a serious note, which is understandable, the amount of laughter induced was a welcome reprieve for those of us inclined to take life just a bit too seriously.

#Hindipaakosenior

“Prrrt, Ma’am, Ma’am, dito po kayo sa senior lane!” A security guard in the mall was singularly focused on doing his job well by making sure that there would be an efficient flow of human traffic and was furiously waving his hands at a female friend to step out of the queue. She stubbornly refused to budge for she was still months away from qualifying as one and upon reaching him told him so. It was obvious that she took offense and easily might have shrugged it off. But how can one remain to be dismissive if subjected to the same treatment, in another venue, within the same day?

#Chickboy

“I will be wearing the tightest pants and the tightest shirt to show what is left of the muscles that I have.” This announcement was met with a great deal of laughter. In his younger years, he was relentlessly pursued for his looks and having had a similar experience for mistakenly being singled out, was determined not to have an unfortunate repeat. Whoever said that he or she is never affected and completely immune to observations that may be received or regarded as less than complimentary?

#Kayako

“I made sure I was quick to stand up and sit down while hearing Mass as I knew that getting on my knees and then struggling or worse, failing to get back up is a sign of my old age. I want to avoid being the center of attention and giving out the impression of being helpless. Do not get me wrong as I feel more than blessed to be able to wake up in the morning, but every year has become a test of patience and endurance.”

While all three recounts speak about the difficulty in realizing that youth has an expiration date, all of them agreed that the only way to move forward is to learn to accept what the years will bring. While aging is not synonymous with having a disease, the reality is that our body will undergo degenerative changes that eventually may impact our functional capacity. The whole process is unidirectional and irreversible, despite the numerous human interventions that can lead one to falsely believe otherwise.

Having said that acceptance is key to successfully navigating what is a given, allow me to share some pointers from an octogenarian colleague, who is still very much active in her medical practice and who never fails to remind us to enjoy the ride.

Have a purpose.

Know your limitations, work around them, and modify accordingly.

Strive to constantly be active both physically and mentally.

Find new hobbies.

Be in the company of people who reverberate and generate positivity.

Let go of things or circumstances that cannot be changed.

Realize that problems are mostly self-fabricated and time will provide needed solutions.

Be more flexible and open to change.

Be less reactionary.

Let others take charge. No one is indispensable.

Be grateful.

Be content.

Be more prayerful.

Pay it forward.

Live a life of relevance.

Aging is not an enemy but a friend.

I am quite sure that all of you who happen to chance upon this article have personal pieces of advice to add to the list. While experiencing aging may always bring unwelcome physical pain and sporadic bouts of anxiety, let us focus our efforts on being in the moment so as to better appreciate how precious is the gift of life. All of us will eventually have to find our way to the pre-departure gates, some sooner than the others. Best that we prepare and plan ahead.

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