Benefits of marrying later in life
A recent study made by the Pew Research Center revealed that 56 percent of millennials are not yet married at present. This is unlike the previous generations who already have three kids in their 30s. Worse, the Gen Z or zoomers don’t even want to get married, according to a poll done by Ashley Madison, a Canadian online dating service and social networking service.
Although these findings may seem alarming to our parents, is it really not advisable to marry later in life? Yes, it is true that it’s more physically challenging to get pregnant in your 30s onwards. Still, there are also advantages of marrying later in life. As someone who got married at 34, I would like to share some of my positive experiences which I probably would not have gone through had I tied the knot when I was younger.
1. Emotional and mental maturity. When our parents and elders share stories about their married life, one message they often convey is that “marriage entails work.” It is true because no matter what your age is when you get married, you will have to work through issues that may arise between you and your spouse. However, many problems stem from unresolved traumas and questionable belief systems we have carried since childhood. One personal example is how I, in my 20s, would get easily agitated if someone arrived late for an appointment. Now, I would still get ticked off, but I tend to be more forgiving as I understand that not everyone operates on a time-bound and task-oriented structure.
Traumas and questionable belief systems you grew up with may still be part of you as you age. But the patience and maturity you develop and even learnings in life help you put your emotions in check and practice self-restraint, prudence, and tact. Conflicts and arguments still inevitably arise when you get married in your 30s, especially if you and your spouse disagree on certain things. But you learn to deal with them more rationally. If you unfortunately still do not know how to handle such arguments yet, you would most likely say things you don’t mean and will regret later on. How often have we heard couples bring up an argument from 20 years ago?
2. Career acumen. A lot of our parents may have experienced professional stability upon reaching their 30s, something which may not hold true for majority of millennials with all the uncertainty in the world right now. However, we have better know-how and a wider range of experiences than in our 20s. Back then, we may have struggled balancing our work life and personal life as we were too focused on getting promoted at work. In our 30s, we would already know how to make work fit in our life instead of making it our life.
Financially, people in their 30s will have a higher probability of acquiring more life savings and securing investments. For this reason, career is no longer our focus. Some millennials even take time off work between jobs to focus on family and mental health. This is only possible when you have enough savings or a support system that would sustain you.
3. Spiritual maturity. When we were kids and teenagers, we followed the faith of the community around us. As young adults in our 20s, we tend to explore and test our faith. In our 30s, our convictions are no longer easily swayed. This means that in your late 30s, you will most likely find a life partner with the same convictions as yours. With different belief systems that you may be more forgiving of as you age, you realize that faith is not one of them. Your faith and convictions will be so strong that a different one can cause a relationship to end.Getting married late may not be all good, but it also has some perks. Whether you get married early or late, we all need to realize that everyone has their own journey at their own pace. Let’s not compare ourselves to other couples who have different timelines. If you feel pressured to get married because you are getting older, don’t. Marriage is a life-long commitment and we all need to get married for the right reasons. It’s better to get married late than to marry early, but to the wrong person.
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Kenn Cayunda is a content creator known as KenndyMann on YouTube and TikTok. He gives practical tips and advice on relationships, career, and mental health. With a theater background, he is passionate about storytelling. His goal is to empower individuals to take control of their lives.
