My Leni as mom, grand mom, and professor
Last Monday, I published my eulogy during the wake of my Leni (Elenita Carpio-Panganiban). Today, let me quote portions (within my limited space) from three of the 10 eulogies depicting her as a mother, a grandmother, and a professor for 37 years at the Asian Institute of Management (AIM).
CELINE PANGANIBAN-HANNETT: Growing up, my mom was my image of perfection—perfection that was beyond my grasp. She was so beautiful, poised, and strong yet demure. She was smart, hardworking, and successful yet she was always so soft-spoken, big-hearted, selfless, and so generous. She asked for so little from life; in fact, she never asked for anything at all. But she was always there. For me, for all my siblings, for all my children, and for all who needed an adopted mom, even her students and other professors. She opened her house to so many of our friends; was always the cool mom, or should I say, warm and welcoming “Tita Leni” or “Mommy Not” to some.
In true soft Mom Leni fashion, she raised the five of us with quiet authority. She wasn’t overbearing, she wasn’t strict; she wasn’t in my face. Always patient. Always kind. Always wise. She said eight was the age of reason, so she just reasoned with us. I can’t recall that she ever yelled at me, even when I deserved it.
She taught us many lessons about life and love, without sermonizing. When we were young, she didn’t give us daily or weekly allowance. She gave us monthly allowance to buy food, clothes, and everything else. Imagine the relative bonanza for a 12-year-old on the first of the month. Some of us (like me, maybe Ate Len) ran out of money before the end of the month, and we starved; and learned how banking worked. Mom let us borrow from the next month’s allowance, and pay back in installments. Some of us still had most of the money by the end of the month—a lesson on how to save. But also we saw that when Mom realized that Archie needed pajamas but didn’t buy any and saved his money instead, Mom bought him pajamas anyway. Somehow, Ate Len and I didn’t learn that trick …
I can go on and on about my beautiful, quiet, generous, and selfless mom. I am who I became because of her. Even though I am not so quiet like her, not so poised and demure like her, not so open-hearted and soft like her. Not anywhere near her perfection …
RAFA PANGANIBAN YAPTANGCO: Lola Leni was always my Number One supporter growing up. I stayed in the Dasma house a lot as a kid; she would always be the first to greet me as I was entering the house. She’d be the one to take care of me while my mom or dad was out working or golfing. The first questions she would always ask were “How are you?” “How’s school?” and “Do you want chicheria? Just get, just get, we have plenty!” A close runner-up to the top three questions was “Do you have a girlfriend na?” She was always a listening ear and was always genuinely interested in what 7-year-old Rafa had to tell her. So much so that whenever I brought my close friends over to Dasma, she would make an effort to talk to them and get along with them, too. A lot of my barkada now still remember Lola and those days in Dasma fondly …
She taught me how to be patient, kind, and caring. She taught me how to curl my tongue, play Uno, Old Maid, Sudoku, but she couldn’t teach me how to raise both my eyebrows, I never figured out that one. She also had the coolest phones. She loved having nice phones back then, it was her treat to herself. I remember she couldn’t wait to show me her newest phone and I would help her set it up and we’d play games on it for hours—my favorite was Bounce. Thinking back, it’s probably one of the big reasons why I love phones and tech and why I work in tech today…
MARI SISON GARCIA: I first met Leni as graduate school classmates at the AIM. There she was, looking frail and delicate. She was one of four women belonging to the male-dominated, pioneering batch of 1971 … (She managed) a difficult balance between the demands of the Harvard’s case study method and being mother to her five children, and a good wife to CJ Art … she inspired me to … chase after my dream no matter what. I told myself that if Leni can do it, I certainly (could).
Leni and I earned our MBM degree by God’s grace and became the “First Fruits of AIM …” (M)any years after that our paths would cross again … this time as … professors … we would spend time taking lunches together, encouraging (each other) and exchanging notes. One of our favorite pastimes was reminiscing the days when we were still studying. We could not decide on what we would rather be—student or professor … Being a newbie professor vis-a-vis Leni … she served as my guidepost and she gladly offered behind-the-scene guidance…
One day, Raul and I were invited to join the “Bukas Loob Sa Diyos Catholic Charismatic Community …” Leni and CJ Art were … members of the Council of Servant Leaders. Among their many contributions … was their gift of leading our worship. They introduced a joyful and animated format that brought new life to the BLD … Leni was still the reserved person that she always was but CJ Art changed the dynamics of worship and Leni remained his anchor …
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