The encounter

The story was told to me by a friend, Alfred Rapisura. When he first came to America, every time someone would greet him, “Hey man, what’s up?” he thought that it was a question. And so he would look up and start mentioning whatever he saw above him. He lamented that he encountered people who were interested in things above him and were not interested in him at all!

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In today’s Gospel (John 4:5-15), we hear of the encounter of Jesus and the Samaritan woman. It started rather cold and impersonal, but ended up with a deep exchange of minds and hearts, leading to the conversion of the Samaritan woman in the end. It was a short encounter, but meaningful and life-changing for the Samaritan woman. Beyond casual and shallow encounters, may we open ourselves to deep and heartfelt encounters that lead to true friendships and relationships.

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Someone once said that people are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. The reason why we build walls is because of fear. All too often, we avoid encounters because we do not want to be vulnerable. In other words, we want to be safe, and we want to be sure. We do not want to be disturbed or deprived of our comfort zones.

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The other reason why we build walls is because of pride. We often think of ourselves as more bright, more right, more holy, more righteous, or simply, more entitled than others. We think or feel that we are not supposed to go down to the level of the “lesser” ones. In other words, doing so is just, so to say, a waste of time.

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LISTEN. For true encounters to happen, we must learn to listen. That means we have to stop talking and give the other party a chance to talk. If we do not listen, no encounter will happen. Even in praying, we have to be still, be silent, and give God a chance to speak.

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INTEREST. Let us listen with interest to what the other person is saying or trying to say. Any form of plasticity or lack of interest on our part can turn off and offend the other party, resulting in failure of encounter.

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SINCERITY. Let us make every effort to be sincere in all we do. Sincerity builds strong relationships, while selfish interests, pretenses, and cover-ups make encounters uncaring and unfruitful.

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TIME. Listening takes time and patience. There are no shortcuts as true encounters take time. Furthermore, we must not hurry, nor force encounters. Neither must we be dismayed by delays, nor lack of results. Patience, patience, patience.

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EXCHANGE. Encounters happen if there is a give-and-take situation. The exchange of minds and hearts happens if there is two-way traffic, and there is mutual respect, understanding, compassion, and yes, love.

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NATURAL. When there is opportunity and freedom of spirit; when there is no put-on, guarded moments become shared moments. Remember, encounters happen when you become natural and real.

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We are all called to be agents of dialogue and communion. In sharing our faith with others, we share our creed, our code, and our cult. But beyond these, we must share our personal journey to God’s heart, and listen to the paths that others take. Above all, true dialogue and true encounters really happen when we share not only the treasures of our faith but our very hearts and life examples.

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“Hey man, what’s up?” I think my friend Alfred was right after all. Whatever you are up to, whatever is happening in your life, don’t forget to look up to God, and you will be all right. May our encounter with God lead us to more real encounters with our brothers and sisters.

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A Moment with the Lord: Lord, help us to be open to a real encounter with You, and with our brothers and sisters. Amen.

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