I got my Christmas gift early this year. On the first day of September, I had a ruptured brain aneurysm. It’s amazing how some things in life are handed to us in the form we didn’t expect.
The stroke happened to me in my workplace. By the time I understood what went on, I had already been in the ICU for 15 days. I don’t remember much of my days there, but I know most of them were terrible. There were a lot of vomiting, recurring headaches, and series of tests. At one point, I had the illusion that the Queen’s corgis whom she left will be given to me. I was heavily drugged. It wasn’t a pretty experience to stay in the hospital for a day short of a month. But a lot of people helped us financially to get through it. Friends sent their well wishes and prayed for me. A neighbor said she immediately rushed to church and skipped lunch to pray for me when she heard the news. I didn’t even once think that other people would pray for me. People that I last met nine years ago and people whom I never met but in some way felt connected to me sent help. Despite the tragedy, some good things came out of it. And trust me, when you are going through something, it feels great to know that others care for you.
My doctor says it’s a miracle that I recovered from the incident without deficits. Physically, one wouldn’t know that I’ve just had a ruptured aneurysm. I did not undergo surgery. The blood left a scar in my brain, but that’s not easily visible to others. Deep inside me, a lot has changed. I decided to take an extended leave from work as advised by a friend. I was hesitant to do it, because I value my work too much. The idea of missing a few months from work for recovery is not that welcome to me. Eventually, I did it, and the time at home gave me a lot of chance to reflect in the life I had before the stroke.
Contrary to people’s opinions, my cholesterol level wasn’t high. I’m not living the ideal food proportions of go, grow, and glow, but I try to be a healthy eater as much as I can. I’m doing my best to stay physically active. I’ve known I had high blood pressure since 2016. I was only 23 then and dismissed the idea that I could have hypertension at such a young age. I’ve been hospitalized twice due to low potassium before. Only after extensive laboratory tests that had to be sent to Manila, a nodule in my adrenal gland was found that caused the irregularities in my body. Now at 29, the experience is a wake-up call for all the people my age.
In the middle of my three-month break from work, it struck me how nice it is not to think about work while staying home. I’ve always prioritized work over anything else that, during my first few weeks on break, I felt that I was missing out on a lot of opportunities. Eventually, I came to realize that despite my career being important, it should never come before my body’s health. My body is my biggest asset. Its health should always be my top priority. That means taking care of it by spending money on packs of medicines and medical check-ups as much as I spend on vacations. This also meant learning to respond only to things that truly mattered, to protect all the aspects of my health.
I’ve traveled to wonderful places, I’m successful in my career, and I have good friends and a great partner. These are things that other people cannot take away from me. But on the hospital bed, I realized that all these don’t matter because I could’ve died. I could’ve lost all my skills and abilities simply because I took my health for granted. I remember Mama’s famous speech when we were younger telling us how we should take care of our body because the government cannot use us if we have a body incapable of doing something.
Regret hit me. Then anxiety followed with episodes of depression. I never went out of the house for nearly two months. I disappeared from social media. I always worried about what would happen next now that I’ve survived an ordeal. What the other survivors do not tell you is that the most difficult part of surviving aneurysm is how to handle the emotional challenges after what you had gone through.
When we talk about Christmas, we often imagine the parties we have to attend, the food and the gifts we are yet to give and receive. Mostly worldly things that we think we will enjoy. We forget to consider the gift of family, friends, and other blessings as gifts that we should be thankful for all year round. This year, I could not ask for more for Christmas. Sure, I have been blessed these past few months. Way blessed than I ever imagined I could be.
My journey is not yet over. In fact, I may just be beginning. In spite of everything, I still believe there are a lot of doors for me waiting to open. The aneurysm is not my end, but only one of the blessings that God has in store for me. I am now focusing on myself. That means giving my energy only to what is truly important to me. My break is about to end as the year is also about to. And now, it has become clearer to me that what happened to me is the greatest gift ever given to me.
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Hercharme D. Demegillo, 29, is a police officer. She is grateful for everyone who extended their help during her challenging times.