This pandemic has tested our limits and capacities since it started. It has also led us to doubt our own mettle. As a student-teacher, I have asked myself multiple times why I am in the field of education. Will I be able to teach students properly, providing them with the quality education they deserve from my end? With the struggles brought upon by this global health crisis, I wonder sometimes if I should give up on my dream of teaching.
The past two years have definitely been the most challenging period of my learning and teaching journey thus far. I initially needed to master the different facets of online learning, and then, out of necessity, modified the mental, spiritual, and physical areas of my life to be able to carry on. It sounds dramatic, but some people have no idea what it takes to be able to sit on a chair for hours to attend and teach classes half-(properly-)dressed and made up and looking perky in front of a laptop, cell phone, or tablet.
I had to set up a conducive work area at home, maximizing the limited space available for me to occupy during my classes, never mind the noise coming from outside. When I hear the chattering of neighbors or the barking of dogs, I often think of those students and teachers who may not have a relatively quiet space at home.
The most overwhelming thing about this online learning setup is the constant pressure to conceive well-thought-out teaching approaches and come up with digital materials and presentations. One could barely keep up with these demands. It’s reached the point that it feels like our value as student-teachers depends on our outputs, fulfilling requirements merely for compliance rather than accomplishing a task that actually has a valuable takeaway for us as future educators.
Then as we shut down our technological devices at the end of the day, there’s the sudden shift of our emotions, like a robot, as we finally start to unwind. But thoughts of relaxing are all dashed just as suddenly with the whiplash of reminders about after-school obligations and responsibilities.
This brings me to the first months of the pandemic when our BS Education program was assigned to handle the virtual tutorial sessions of selected Peace Kamp Aetas in Sapang Uwak, Porac, Pampanga. Initially, our tutorship—mostly focused on their reading and speaking skills in English—was just an additional class requirement. But it eventually became our regular trimestral outreach activity. My experience teaching them online made me feel inspired and optimistic as the value of virtual education hit home even more strongly.
Our tutorial students go to the Peace Kamp to use the tablets and an internet connection specifically for their classes with us. Ideally, the student-tablet ratio should be 1:1. But due to limitations, as many as three students would share one tablet. Despite this, they consistently exert effort and show their willingness to learn, listening in rapt attention to and absorbing every single thing we are discussing as they huddle before the tablets in groups of three. Having observed their positive attitude, how could I even complain about whatever inconveniences I encounter?
This surge in my motivation and sense of purpose notwithstanding, I still feel at times that producing online materials and presentations outweighs the teaching experience itself because the former is just so time-consuming. But to counter these thoughts, I remind myself that my passion and determination must not dwindle even if things start to overwhelm me. Because if our learners’ dedication to learning remains strong, so must ours as student-teachers. I also recall what a very good mentor, former brother president of DLS-CSB, Br. Dennis Magbanua FSC, once told me: “Being a successful teacher comes from genuinely caring for each of your students, and accepting them for what they are at that point and leading them to your desired outcome. For others, the desired outcome may not be about getting a good grade at the end of the term but a life well-lived and a passion to teach and learn that rarely ebbs.” I keep that in mind every time I feel like throwing in the white towel.
Of the many things that this pandemic has taught me as a student-teacher, it is to understand what it means to be an educator and begin to love this vocation all the more, even if there are many things that can hinder or slow me down.
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Chalsea Veronica Oliveros, 28, is taking up Secondary Education, major in English, at the De La Salle-College of Saint Benilde Antipolo, where she is also a member of the Benildean Volunteers.