Decluttering, reconstructing

I’ve been decluttering my room these past few months, thanks to the restrictions imposed by the government and with a lot of time spent at home, sorting through the nonsensical to the most obscure stuff stored in my closet.

It’s not the hype of Marie Kondo that inspired me to discard old items. I guess I just had more time to stare at the four corners of my room. The pandemic has given us a new set of eyes to see what is “essential” and what is not. According to Kondo, simple living involves decluttering one’s home. And decluttering one’s home also helps in decluttering one’s mind. She advises us to keep only those things that are truly precious to us and things that bring us joy. In her book, she said that real life begins after putting our house in order: “When you put your house in order, you put your affairs and your past in order, too. As a result, you can see quite clearly what you need in life and what you don’t, and what you should and shouldn’t do.”

Dumping things could be a very tedious and challenging task. Experts say that you must assess each thing—ask yourself if it sparks joy; if not, then let go. But valuing things could be very subjective. Some things are representations of someone we love, our aspirations, our dreams, and our achievements, and we need them to remind us of who we are, our purpose, and our meaning. Some are also gifts.

For instance, I had this tumbler with a delicately embossed oblation logo, a token given only to the university scholars at a recognition event in UP. That was my first time to be a university scholar that I kept the tumbler unused. The second time I got the same recognition, the token didn’t entice me anymore nor spark any joy. Same thing with other stuff that I haven’t used for quite a while but are still in pristine condition. I usually like to keep things associated with my “firsts” but as you get older, they won’t matter to you. Alas, I have to eventually let them go.

I also had to sort things that don’t belong to me: borrowed stuff among friends that I couldn’t easily throw away because they were not mine. So I asked if they still wanted these items back.

Next up and I guess the most difficult to declutter — my social media accounts. Now is the time to leave toxic Facebook groups with irascible members who don’t have second thoughts saying foul, infuriating, and condescending words. Members who hide behind the mask of anonymity in their fake accounts. It’s the right time to “unlike” Facebook pages that don’t interest you anymore and revisit uploaded photos and finally decide to delete those that no longer matter.

But I got stuck on my Facebook friends list. I couldn’t just declutter, unfriend, and dump people. I see friends that I have lost touch with. Friends I haven’t talked to for quite a while. Friends I made because we shared the same passion and interests such as sports, books, work, etc. Friends I have spent time and shared laughter with in the past; I haven’t talked with them much and we may have different priorities now, but I couldn’t just dump them, right? I guess, friends, or people in general, don’t have an exit door; they just come and stay at a particular point in our lives. The old cliché is probably true: “Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there.”

As I continued scrolling down the list, I remember the people I have unfriended and blocked. People who have hurt me, intentionally and unintentionally. But in retrospect, I realize that these people have their good side. We might have quarreled and misunderstood each other at some point, but that shouldn’t define the friendship we had. I guess the most profound thing I’ve learned as I get older, is not to burn bridges, no matter how difficult the person is. And so, I unblocked and befriended them again.

Decluttering, in a way, is a form of meditation, a cleansing of the soul. It’s a way of removing the emotional baggage you have. Because in the end, a clean room is a clean mind and gentle soul. Decluttering, in a sense, is not just forgoing tangible things that may no longer be useful, it’s also about forgiving and reconstructing bridges with friends in your old circles.

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Mario L. Rance, 29, is a technology management student from UP Diliman.