Redefining toughness

Filipino Olympians have energized the country in the last few weeks, with weightlifter Hidilyn Diaz becoming our first ever Olympic gold medalist and with boxers Nesthy Petecio and Eumir Marcial giving us medal wins. The rest of the Philippine team are also well on their way to securing their own place in Philippine Olympic history. Special mention must be made of skateboarder Margielyn Didal who placed seventh on her first Olympic try. She won the hearts of the media and the public for her endearing goofiness and her contagiously positive attitude (and uncanny ability to grab photobombing opportunities).

Hidilyn’s journey struck a chord for many who shed tears while our national anthem was finally played during the Olympics. It was a restirring of our nationalistic pride that had long been tested and exhausted by divisiveness. Filipinos badly needed a win — and it couldn’t have come at a better time.

As a Filipina, I was even more touched that our first Olympic gold came from women’s weightlifting. The idea of a woman at the top of a sport that is all about physical strength is such comfort to girls who were told that some things are simply not for them. “Because you’re a girl” has almost never implied something good. It is usually preceded by “you’re not allowed” or “you shouldn’t.” The classic “kababae mong tao” is used to shame us from entering territories not meant for women. Hidilyn, Nesthy, and Margielyn broke barriers not just in sport but for all women who were told they can’t.

When Hidilyn won, me and my friends immediately bought her children’s book, “Ginto’t Pilak,” for ourselves and our nieces. We were hungry for a contemporary Filipina role model that allowed children to dream outside the box. In her book, Hidilyn described how she would carry pails of water and basins full of fish to help her family but was discouraged from lifting barbells since it was simply not what women were supposed to do. She persevered through all the pressure and stigma and emerged victorious. Her story showed that women can be tough in more ways than one. She was tough in that she happily used her strength to help her family. She was also tough in that she also chose herself—she pursued her passion despite the initial reservations of her loved ones. She was also tough for advocating for her sport and the wellbeing of her fellow athletes, even at the cost of being targeted by the government.

Sports, as the cliché goes, is 90 percent mental and 10 percent physical. The higher the professional level, the more important psychological factors become in obtaining a win. Mental toughness is a concept used by sports psychologists to describe a set of mindsets and coping skills that are crucial in athletic performance. To professionally compete in sport is to compete against your own fears and insecurities. How you handle setbacks determine if you have a “winning” mindset. Mentally tough athletes use their losses and missteps as opportunities for learning and retraining and they usually bounce back better and stronger. They also use the success of others as inspiration and motivation. Margielyn showcased this well at the Tokyo Olympics, actively cheering for her competitors and letting the world-class competitive environment invigorate rather than intimidate her. Mentally tough individuals also know when to stop and take a break to prevent injury or burnout. Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles highlighted this kind of toughness when they decided to withdraw and focus on their mental health.

Mental toughness is different from acting tough. Acting tough is mere posturing, hiding your fear behind bravado. People who act tough refuse to acknowledge their mistakes or limitations, therefore getting riled up when called out. Bullies, for example, act tough by belittling others (strategically choosing targets they think are weaker than they are), hoping to make themselves look big by making others look small. Mentally tough people are secure in their own strength and uses it to uplift others. They also study their own weaknesses—you have to know your own limits before you can go beyond it. Hidilyn, by highlighting her support team and acknowledging her own mental struggles, demonstrated that humility is the true toughness.

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