Nov. 25 was the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, a United Nations initiative aimed at raising awareness on violence against women and girls (VAWG), or violence against women and children.
This year’s theme is “Orange the World: Fund, Respond, Prevent, Collect!” with Wednesday’s celebration kick-starting “16 Days of Activism against Gender-based
Violence” ending on Dec. 10 or International Human Rights Day, which is apt since any violence against women and children is considered a human rights violation.
Why is there a need to sustain the campaign to eliminate violence against women and children? A blurb from UN Women notes that VAWG remains to be the “most widespread, persistent and devastating human rights violations in our world today, and has remained largely unreported due to the impunity, silence, stigma and shame surrounding it.” Many cases of rape, for example, have been buried along with the victims, largely because of the stigma attached to being a rape victim — that it is quite odious and shameful. Unfortunately, more often than not, it is the victim who gets blamed for being raped — that she was “dressed” for it, and that it is just natural for any “normal” man to do it to a woman who “seemed ready for it.” Normalizing rape is part of a pervasive “macho” rape culture. And all of us, reasonable men and women, should work hard to unlearn such a culture.
More than two decades ago, when I sat as the dean of the College of Arts and Sciences of the Notre Dame University in Cotabato City, a Magindanawn woman came to seek advice on her painful experience. Someone referred me to her, telling her that I could refer her to my female lawyer friends who provided free legal support for rape victims. She said she has read some of my editorials in the Mindanao Cross, a regional paper published in Cotabato City, when I was its first woman editor in chief from 1991 to 1995. I wrote several editorials and opinion columns decrying rape and other forms of violence against women. A religious leader even “complained” to my husband about my “progressive” and “feminist” views.
The woman narrated that she had been a victim of rape several times over, and the perpetrator was a blood relative, a powerful local government official in her hometown. She was not only raped, she was also abused physically—she was pistol-whipped on her belly several times before the perpetrator forced himself on her. She was shaking vigorously when she disclosed the reactions of her male relatives — her brothers — who told her: “You should just marry him to evade shame if you get pregnant with his child. Just accept his offer for you to be his fourth wife!”
I lost contact with her after I referred her to a female lawyer friend who took her case to court. I learned later that she went to the local religious leaders in her community, only to be told that the perpetrator had already paid his “fine” of P20,000, technically absolving him of the crime.
I am reminded of her painful story at this time of the year. I also remember that I once called out one top national government official after he introduced himself during a meeting with representatives of international donor agencies. He looked at his seatmate, a woman, and said, “I am (nickname)… if you are pretty and sexy, you can call me anytime…”
Sadly, we live in a country where rape and other forms of violence against women and girls are committed with impunity, and joking about these has become a favorite presidential pastime.
Perhaps UN Women should send an #OrangetheWorld poster to Malacañan Palace.
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