Sadness and solace

A few more days and it will already be All Saints’ and All Souls’ Day. For the first time I may not be able to visit my deceased relatives and friends in the memorial park. I am already 64 years old. I am taking a big risk if I go out to the memorial park. I may get the COVID-19 virus. Prudence is the better part.

I will choose to pray a rosary for each of my deceased friends and relatives at home. This is the saddest year of my life. I know 10 people who died this year. Three batchmates in college died. Five friends died. My professor in graduate school, a priest, died. My best friend died. My favorite aunt and godmother died.

I am eternally grateful to my favorite aunt and godmother, Dr. Amalia Fernandez. She helped me find a hospital for my hospital practicum in Clinical Psychology. She even helped me find a date when I was sad, because I broke up with my former girlfriend of 10 years.

My aunt used to help me overcome my sadness. How I wish I could have saved her from death. She had cancer and had an accident, and she died in the hospital. I believe if there was no COVID-19, she would still be alive.

My best friend Joey Cruz was with me in all the important events of my life, both the good times and bad. He was there when I graduated. He encouraged me to do my best and make my dreams come true. He drove me to the Ateneo Graduate School of Business and prayed inside the chapel while I was defending my thesis. He drove me to the church when I got married. He was always there. He was 100-percent reliable. I truly miss him.

I loved my aunt and my best friend. They were living angels in my life. My aunt was also like the mother I did not have because I was an orphan. My best friend was like the older brother I did not have because I was the eldest. Both my aunt and best friend would succumb to cancer.

I really believe they would still be alive were it not for COVID-19. Their cancer therapy was already working for them. The coronavirus kills people who have cancer, or are obese and diabetic. Too bad they were also obese. I miss them.

My aunt and best friend taught me the real meaning of love. I felt accepted and appreciated, because they loved me unconditionally. They are now both in heaven.

It is important to love again even if the original love dies. The lesson this pandemic is telling me is to show love to those we care for, because we do not know the time or hour they will be taken from us. At the same time, look forward to the future. Our loved ones are in a better place. They are in heaven, because they loved while here on earth.

Jesus Christ has surely rewarded them. As Jesus said: “Come to me good and faithful servants. I have a home prepared for you. Come to me all you who are burdened and I will give you rest.”

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Emmanuel de Leon, 64, teaches at Ateneo de Manila. He is the author of the book “Secrets to a Long Life and Lasting Marriage.”