To my fellow cis women
In an episode of the sparklingly funny BBC radio sitcom “Cabin Pressure,” two characters, Herc and Carolyn, talk casually over lunch, and happen to bring up the question of universal suffrage. “Carolyn,” says Herc, “all through human history, we’ve been wrong about equality when we thought we were right. All men are equal, except slaves, obviously. Oh no, wait — all men are equal, except black ones, obviously. No, wait — all people are equal except women, obviously.” He then asks, “Look, are you not at all curious about what we’re still getting wrong?”
It’s been a good while since trans woman Gretchen Diez was assaulted for daring to use a women’s rest room. While the issue has largely died down, the debate it has sparked about the Sogie (sexual orientation and gender identity and expression) Equality Bill is alive and thriving. Many cry foul about the fact that the LGBTQ+ community is asking for “too much” or for “special treatment.” Many confuse the Sogie bill with the movement for same-sex marriage. Many claim it tramples on their own personal freedoms.
One hopes that those who take pains to educate others online, which is where the debates are often held, are making a dent in all of this misunderstanding and misinformation. The idea that fellow Filipinos — who, as Geraldine Roman has pointed out, just happen to be members of the LGBTQ+ — should be granted the same respect, economic opportunities and protection from slurs and violence as other people, seems an altogether too offensive concept for the average Filipino’s sensibilities.
In this entire debate, the most disappointing sides to hear have come from cisgender women. “Cisgender” applies to those whose gender identity matches their phenotypic sex at birth. “Cis women” are fortunate not to struggle with gender identity, and are also fortunate to enjoy the rights won for them by more than a century of suffrage.
The cis women crying foul about bathroom accommodations for trans individuals and about LGBTQ+ communities asking for “special treatment” seem to forget that the way we treat queer individuals is not so very different from the subhuman way women were treated just in the past century. To be sure, the struggle for gender equality has a long way to go, but it wasn’t so long ago that women could not vote, hold public office or enjoy higher education, because of — guess what — their gender identity and expression. The space that we women take up in society today is due to the tenacity of those who struggled and the openness of those who listened. So it is sickening to be reading so many comments from straight cis women who so clearly are unable to recognize the small ways the patriarchy has been forced to make way for us, but refuse to accommodate the LGBTQ+.
This week, in a now-deleted viral tweet, a girl expressed that “some members of the community [are] abusing the power they have, knowing [that] they have been accepted by the world.” What an extremely loose definition of “acceptance.” Trans individuals are still disproportionately the target of acts of violence and hate, even within the LGBTQ+ community itself. Suicidal ideation is twice as common among homosexual Filipinos compared to heterosexual ones. Households led by same-sex or nonconventional couples are at a disadvantage in almost every sphere, unable to avail of everything from poverty alleviation strategies to relief goods. In the media, mainstream portrayals of LGBTQ+ are cartoonish, mere caricatures of the same stereotypes—the flamboyant gay, the homosexual best friend. Are these the fruits of acceptance? We, as women, are still experiencing the evils of the gender pay gap, of workplace discrimination, of disproportionately unrealistic societal expectations, of sexual violence. Should we stop here and ask for no more because we have been “accepted”?
I’d like to ask my fellow cis women the same question as Herc: Are you not at all curious about what we’re still getting wrong? If you find nothing wrong with the current way we treat LGBTQ+ communities, trans people in particular, then it’s a pity that you’re currently enjoying the fruits of suffrage while denying the same to others.
