Love conquers all

Last Sept. 6, Tuesday, family, friends and former colleagues of the late Felix Bautista, gathered at the Mt. Carmel Shrine to honor his life and memory and to launch a book: “From the Desk of the Editor… Felix B. Bautista,” a collection of Bautista’s writings and fond tributes from his 12 children.

For me, the highlight of the evening was the response of Bautista’s widow, Lourdes or Nena, who is known to a generation (maybe more) of UST alumni as “Ma’am.” It was succinct, organized, and, considering how it was spontaneous and from the heart, truly moving. Ma’am Nena’s children, Gigi and Tish, transcribed the talk from a video of the proceedings and provided it to me, upon my request. I beg Ma’am’s indulgence because I have had to cut some portions due to space limitations. But please, enjoy this moving tribute to a husband and father, and to love, romance and togetherness.

* * *

Friends, I want to share with you this evening three items.

Item One. A few years into our marriage, when Felix and I were staying in Paris, Malate, my young sister-in-law Tessie asked me one afternoon, “Maggie,” she said (I was still Maggie then), “what attracts you in a man?” And I said, “Principally, intelligence.” And I said, “How about you?” And she said, “Principally, good looks.”

I think both of us got our wish, because she got Ped Coronel, very good-looking, and I already had Felix, whom I considered, and I still consider, the most intelligent man I have ever met in my life.

And you know that is a fact. Right after Liberation, the US Army conducted an examination for career placements. Without my knowing it, Felix took it. And one afternoon, he came home and said, “Dug,” he said, “I got, I took this examination, I topped it. I had the highest IQ among the hundreds who took the examination.” And since he was an undergrad, the American captain told him, “If you want to be successful, engineering is for you. It suits your talents.”

But writing was in his blood. And so he chose to be a writer. But four of his children took up engineering, and have become successful in Engineering. I will now invoke a mother’s bragging rights, and ask the four to stand up one by one.

Jet Bautista, mechanical engineer. He topped the board exams in 1978 for UST and that has not been duplicated yet.

Next is Mayo, civil engineer. Gina, industrial engineer. And Tato, mechanical engineer.

So the American captain was correct.

* * *

Item two. Many of you, perhaps all of us, have heard the expression “marriages are made in heaven.” But I wonder if you are familiar with a devotion called “Los Siete Domingos de San Jose.” It consists of an engaged couple going to Mass, receiving communion, for seven consecutive Sundays. When Felix became my boyfriend, I broached the topic to him. And he said “yes, let’s do it!”

This was two decades before Vatican II. And so it meant that if you received communion on a Sunday, you had to go to confession on a Saturday. Fasting was from midnight to the time you received the sacrament. Food and drink not allowed, not even water.

And so it was difficult. Felix lived in San Fernando, Pampanga, and he had to take the early morning train. The train was the only feasible means of transportation at the time. He got off at Azcarraga, took the tranvia to Pennsylvania. I am now using the old names. Got off at Herran, walked to the corner of Tennessee, where we were living, and waited for me at the corner until I would come. Every Sunday we knelt together, side by side, at the communion rail, rain or shine. And finally after seven difficult Sundays, we were so happy, we made it. We were so happy.

The year was 1944; the times were uncertain. We were hearing from the underground that the Americans had landed in Leyte. The future was uncertain. We did not know what tomorrow would bring. But there was a sense of urgency. In my heart I knew that together Felix and I would be able to surmount any obstacle, overcome any difficulty, face any hardship with equanimity because, corny as it may sound, love conquers all.

To be poetic, let me quote Shakespeare.

“Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove.

O no, it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken.”

And so we took the plunge, we got married. I was 20 he was 21.

* * *

Item three. Thinking of it now, looking at my grandchildren, I would say you would be crazy to do what your grandmother did.

During the last year of Cardinal Sin’s confinement at Villa San Miguel, I would occasionally visit him and after kissing his hand and greeting him he would look at me and say, “Nena, where is Felix now?”

“Your Eminence, I think he is with us now. He is here with us.” And he would look at me, take my hand and say, “Yes, Nena, Felix is with you.”

And so tonight, taking my insight from the Cardinal, I wish to say this. Felix and I wish to express our gratitude to all of you, to God first and foremost from whom all blessings flow. To my children who worked tirelessly across two continents to make this evening truly memorable and meaningful. Blessed John Paul II said, “Man is man’s greatest resource.” And my greatest resource in this stage of my life would be my children. Would you please stand and be recognized?

Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. Truly, our children make our greatest resource.

And so, dear friends who have graced this affair with your presence, all the families present, relatives present, friends present, I wish to thank you from my heart which I like to believe is bottomless.  Maraming salamat po.