Firsts

Heart-tugging ads are becoming popular, especially for placements on YouTube where you can run longer spiels. The ads move away from old hard-sell marketing and now use human interest angles to catch people’s attention.

Some of them are adaptations of true stories, like the one sponsored by Vicks about a former neighborhood bully adopting an abandoned child. Or Safeguard’s story of Norman King, the first from his Aeta Negrito community to graduate from UP. (Just for the record, UP has had many graduates from indigenous communities, especially from the Cordillera, but the feature on Norman King is still appreciated, a reminder that we need to do more with and for the Negrito communities.)

The human interest angle does not have to come from a “true” story, but the powerful ones tap into life experiences that many people can relate to. This was certainly the case with an Alaska Milk holiday ad. I was ready to click “skip ad,” but something about the opening line caught my attention—a young woman prepping herself up to introduce her boyfriend to her father. “Kaya mo ito (You can do it),” she assures herself.

The story of a family then unfolds, of three generations, until we reach a scene where everyone’s busy preparing a Christmas meal, but all looking rather somber. They are all wearing black mourning patches, and you can guess what has happened—a first Christmas without one of their loved ones.

I did write a column recently about how the holidays might not be as cheerful for people who have lost loved ones in the last year. I, in fact, excused myself and my family from a clan reunion this year because I wasn’t sure I could bear three “firsts” this year: a reunion without a favorite aunt, and both my parents. I knew, too, that I would be too depressed missing other favorite aunts who had passed away in recent years.

The Alaska ad—the connection is between Alaska milk and the desserts that are so much a part of holiday meals—reminds us that while there will be sadness remembering those no longer with us, we best honor their memories by generating some of the joy and cheer they did with their meals, their laughter, their presence.

The ad did get me thinking about another angle around “firsts.” Bereavement should make us think of creating new “firsts” still related to the loved ones we lost. Our clan reunions were held in the home of the favorite aunt who passed away this year, and I offered to host this year’s reunion—only to back down, but with a promise that we will have that first clan reunion next year.

We should think of new year resolutions as a family. Maybe that first pet the children have been asking for, but with clear commitments and responsibilities. Maybe a first long vacation together that we had to keep postponing, because Lolo and Lola had so many medical crises. Be quick about that vacation, because once kids become teenagers, the idea even of a family outing, especially with parents and elders, becomes less attractive.

If you have an active neighborhood association or parish council, suggest new year’s resolutions instead of those boring organizational resolutions. Look beyond your community: If we have sister cities abroad, why can’t we have sister cities or barangays locally—a richer one helping a poorer one, or maybe that neighboring community of informal settlers? Let’s be realistic: Aim for a first Christmas, in 2019, where the resolutions would have yielded results.

I’m suggesting new firsts for new year’s resolutions, because I feel we are becoming a nation of whiners, and I am alarmed at the thought that it’s worse now with our young, in part because they have no role models for positive thinking and action.

With national elections around the corner, families and communities can volunteer to help with election watchdog groups. Or we can be more alert and discerning not just to point out fake news, but also to help disseminate the truth. It will mean educating ourselves about the issues, and I am glad some schools, largely private, are creating the opportunities to do this, by asking students to interview their parents about current events as well as the past.

Let’s aim for a first Christmas next year where we can point out, with pride, how we’re doing less talk and walking more of the talk, dedicating that “first” to someone who passed away during the year and whose memory continues to inspire us.

(If you want to watch the ad I mentioned, go to YouTube and search for “first Christmas” and “Alaska.” I actually retrieved it humming that familiar song: “Wala pa rin tatalo sa Alaska.” Smart advertising people!)

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